Today’s affirmation:
Today I give with love
As a child, I would visit local nursing homes with my church choir around Christmas time. We’d go sing carols and bring gifts and while I was happy being a part of the choir. I never really understood why and how people could make the decision to leave a loved one in the care of strangers. Back then, it was something to do. I havent visited an old aged home in at least 20 years. My office, sent out a request this week, for volunteers to visit one in San Fernando. I immediately said yes.
Somehow, visiting as an adult was different. During the intervening years between singing Christmas carols with the church group and now, I’ve had personal experiences with death and of course my own aging, but today felt so different. There was a compassion, I never felt before.
The St Vincent De Paul Home for the Aged San Fernando was founded in 1930, the foundation stone was laid by the Archbishop of Port of Spain on lands donated by Ste. Madeline Sugar Company Ltd. situated at the Corner of Ruth and Independence Avenues, San Fernando. The home currently has about fifty residents.
When we got there, I felt a little uncertain about what to expect. My experience with children’s homes has taught me that 1 visit can make me feel guilty. Guilt, because I know that the children crave love and attention and 1 visit is just that…So I wasnt sure that this experience wouldn’t cause the same feelings to arise. The residents of old aged homes, yearn for the same love and attention, more so at this time in their journey but unfortunately, at this age some people think they need it less.
We got there around 3:00 p.m. so that gave us about an hour since they have dinner at 4. I sat and I looked at a cricket match on the TV with 3 of the male residents for a while. West Indies are playing New Zealand. New Zealand is batting. I didn’t think words were necessary. Men and sports, no matter the age, they are loud and they know everything about what’s going on.
Then it seemed the residents were all moving towards the dining room for dinner. So I sat at a table with the owner of the hand in my photo. Ms Rampersad is such a sweetheart. We got to talking, when I asked how old she was, she said it’s been so long she couldn’t remember. The matron told me she is 97.
The oldest resident will be 100 in December. Margaret Mitchell was born on 21st December, 1912. Her only complaint is that she couldn’t hear very well. She doesn’t have any kids. Her advice, “work hard and don’t depend on no man for anything.”
The daughter of one resident was visiting her mother while we were there and her mother insisted she wanted to go home. That had me a little emotional. I miss my own mother so much. It will be 2 yrs on August 7 that she has moved on and I miss her everyday.
There were some truly funny moments and some awe-inspiring ones. I feel guilt, because I’m not sure when I’ll be back and even when I do return…who will still be there? I feel compassion for the residents who are there and for the loved ones who had to make the decision to leave them there. Good care at this delicate time in the lives of these residents is paramount and caregivers are often take for granted. Yes they are paid staff, but how many people remember them in their prayers? I feel happy that despite the rain today, I made the journey. I feel relieved that my mother never had to go through that experience. Down to the end, a cousin of mine tried to convince me that maybe we should consider a hospice. I would have died before that happened. My sister and I took care of her instead.
Today’s gift is time. 45 mins spent with the residents of the St Vincent De Paul Home for the Aged. The residents and I have that in common, the gift that is time. I chose to share mine with them today. For me, it is priceless.