Today’s affirmation:
Show me how I can give enough today to solve a problem.
I’m at the halfway point of this 29-Gift journey and I still find myself focusing on my “lack” and not my abundance. I worry that I don’t have enough for me and if I’m a fraud for even starting on this journey. Doubt can eat you alive sometimes. To counteract this doubt I need to renew my faith in what I’m doing. Insomnia gives me time to think, sometimes too much time but I did come up with a new approach for today’s gift, hence the affirmation.
Focus on solving a problem. Trying to come up with a solution to someone else’s problem should get my mind off my own. I was gonna have to be on the lookout all day for opportunities in problem solving. My work day is very routine, so my problem-solving skills will be put to the test.
A co-worker has just been diagnosed with Stage 4 Prostate Cancer. The problem: What can we do or how can we/I help? Now this is something close to my heart; my mother had Ovarian Cancer. Help at this time can be anything from time, soup, tissues, and a drive to the doctor’s office and most definitely money. How do I get everyone at the office involved in a fundraiser? My department loves to have a reason for an “Eat-up” so I figured something involving food.
The solution: a breakfast fundraiser. Not too expensive, everyone can contribute and we wouldn’t have to walk around with donation sheets. The planning has started.
After the high of solving this problem, there wasn’t anything else around that needed my super-duper problem-solving skill set. So I got on with the work at hand and hoped I’d have another opportunity before the day was over to solve another problem.
On the way to the taxi stand after work, busy talking my head off with my friend, affirmation long forgotten; only problem at hand was: Not having to wait long for a car. This guy walks along side me and quietly asks if I could buy him something to eat. I was so caught up in my conversation I didn’t hear him clearly at first and I was ahead of him a bit, when he asked again.
I stopped and turned and asked my friend to stay with me. Conveniently, his request was made just in front of a food vendor. I thought about the fact that I only had $100 to last me until pay-day which is a whole week away. I really needed to go to the grocery and that $100 was gonna have to turn into 5 loaves and 2 fish if it was going to stretch until next week, doing grocery shopping and commuting. In 5 seconds I thought about my “lack”; if I had a sign visible only to the hungry that I was an easy target and that here is a problem I can solve right now.
The problem: hungry guy needs food.
The solution: I have money right now; I can bless it and buy him the food.
So I told him to order what he wanted, the lady behind the counter looked at him as if she was going to turn him away. I mouthed to her that I was going to pay for what he wanted. He was specific, rice and peas and a salad. He didn’t even ask for meat. I thought, wow doesn’t he realise I’m paying; he could have ordered whatever he wanted. I asked him if he might like a drink and that he should get something. He asked for a Sprite.
My budget has just dwindled to $70. The guy apologizes and thanks me for the meal. I asked him to please eat it and that he didn’t have to apologise for being hungry.
I thanked my girl-friend for staying with me, because well you just never know. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have three moments of panic about the money. Still, I blessed it and got a car for home. Everytime I feel like I dont have enough, I find myself in a place where have I to live with even less. And I do. And I’m ok. Not an easy lesson.