Some advice for real life

Hmm I thought by now I would have a little insect, that resembled me somewhat or at least had a few of my traits to pass on some of those “when I was your age, young lady…” remarks to. However, I planned and God laughed.

Still, I live in joyful hope.

In the meantime, however, at the ripe old age of 3faux I think it is time I pass on document some of the most profound advice I’ve received from some important women in my life over the years. Here’s to sharing the um…love:

Do you know what a penis is? Stay far from it. ~ Aunty Carlie, my mother’s sister

This my dear friends pretty much sums up my version of “the talk”. Yup. Talking about sex was taboo in my house so my Aunt gave me this pearl around the time I started secondary school. I was about 11 years old. And yes, I knew what a penis was.

I had a little brother and my mother, ever the time manager bathed us all together until we were old enough to notice differences and start asking questions. However, why I should stay far from a penis…was a mystery at 11. For the record tho…I did follow her advice until the ripe old age of 24. Auntie would be proud. Talk about business in the road. HA!

Why are you pursing A-levels? You’re pretty, you’re smart, you should find a rich old man, marry him and then you can do all the things you are working so hard for now…but with money and your terms. ~ Mrs Ali-Mohammed, my 6th Form Teacher

This was the gem I received just around the time I got my first report in 6th Form and was completely crushed because this my first ever “bad” report. I was an A student all through secondary school, so first term 6th Form was a major eye opener. My teacher, seeing my pain, thought she should save me from further heartache.

All I will say after years of studying and failures, big wins and life unfolding in the most unexpected way is: I should have listened.

Always leave room for disappointment. ~ Gloria Superville, my mother

My mother used to say this to the sibs and I whenever something we really wanted/thought would happen didn’t. You work hard at something, you give it your best shot, you plan, you plot and something will still go wrong. This was her way of saying be prepared for anything. To let go of the outcome!

Planned to go to the beach and rain fell? “Always leave room for disappointment.”

Didn’t get the grade you expected. “Always leave room for disappointment.”

Still childless, with not even a puppy as a dependent? “Always leave room for disappointment.”

This was what she said to us the last time I saw my dad as well. It was Christmas time ’89, and my father who was already gone and was now a “visiting-father” came to see us about two weeks before Christmas Day. He left with the promise to return to take us toy shopping on Christmas Eve.

That was all we could talk about for those two glorious weeks of anticipation. My mother knew though. She kept telling us to leave room for disappointment. We didn’t. He never came. And my issues about men not showing up for me, were cemented.

Of all the things my mother ever said to me, I think this one pretty much sums up most of the men I’ve known. Except for my brother. He is the best men I know.

I suppose it’s no coincidence I chose this quote for this post and I’m sure when I’m on Oprah’s couch someday*fingers crossed it will happen sooner rather than later*…we’ll talk about this.

Sooooo now that I’ve veered off into some heavy territory, and we’re all sufficiently uncomfortable, I will end this post.

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Please feel free to share some of your own “pearls of wisdom” below!