Five years ago today…I was preparing to say my final goodbye to my mother. It was a day quite like this one – sunny, blue skies – except there was a slow motion quality to everything.
Five years later…it is still surreal. I heard her name being called at Mass this weekend and for a second I was like…”hey that’s mummy’s name.”
Grief does not get easier. All them books on it…they lie. Who feels it, knows it. And I’m learning to live with it. I’m learning how to be happy in a world that is forever changed. I’m learning to live all the lessons she taught me.
I would not be the woman I am today without them. And as painful as it might be to admit this, I would not be who I am today, if she were still here.
…every Monday, we post seven positives from the previous seven days of the week as a reminder of what we have so that the week starts out on an upswing. There is much truth in the belief that happy people attract good things, so it is important to start the week out right. Sometimes it’s the more grand, but other times, it’s the simple things.~ Key + Arrow
7 for Seven originated at Key + Arrow and I have adopted the practice and it has really changed my life in positive ways. My 7 this week is all about the woman who God chose to create me. I love her. I miss her every. single. day.
Thank you for giving me life. Thank you for being my first love. Thank you for teaching me how to let go of someone I love. Letting you go was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.
Dear Mummy, thank you for introducing me to God. It is this faith that gives me the strength to move forward in joyful hope.
Thank you for showing me how to be strong. Around the time we decided as a family that mummy was not going to do any more chemo treatments, I asked her what was the one lesson she learned from her whole journey with Ovarian Cancer. She said to me that having cancer, taught her how to be strong. This from the woman who raised three children on her own, during a recession, cleaning people’s houses to make ends meet. I have so much respect for what she calls “strength”.
Thank you for my sister and brother. This journey would have been super boring without having them to blame things on. Thank you drumming it into our heads teaching us what is really important. Thank you for a childhood that may have lacked “wants” but was full of the things that really mattered – Love, plenty laughter and a mother who cheated to win against her own kids at board games. Yes folks my mother hated losing…to her children.
Thank you for allowing me to bathe in the rain! I’m a hardcore pluviophile and proud!
Thank you for all the support and encouragement.
May 05, 1947 – August 07, 2010
“My soul magnifies the Lord, and my Spirit rejoices in God my Saviour”
Luke 1:46-48
I want to make you so proud. I want when people meet me that they see a bit of you too. I want them to know that the woman I am today was because you worked hard, you sacrificed so that I could get here. I am so grateful for the time I had with you and I hope to live a life where time with the people I love is always my number one priority!
I will pay attention to the little things today. Those little things, the mundane details that make up all the blessings in my life as I move through this day still so full of promise. By sowing these seeds of faith and gratitude, I can truly carry with me and reap the rewards of “positivity + balance + bliss” throughout the days ahead and well into the week ahead.
Thank you for reading, I appreciate you! This is me blowing some glitter and confetti on you because you’re super blessed to have received the gift of another 86,400 seconds today, to spend any way you desire.
Make those seconds count!
I love hearing from you…what are you grateful today? What made you smile? Feel free to share below!
Wonderful article. I had an interesting conversation on losing one’s parents with a Reverend and he opined that there is no time limit on the mourning period. However, if it remains at a level where you cannot live your own life for too long, you need help. There is truth to that in the sense that grief, while important, cannot be the dominant emotion in your life ad infinitum.
I don’t know your mom but I am sure she would have been proud to read these words from you. Well done Vernette.
Author
Thanks for reading Kendall. Your kind words are much appreciated.
I lost my mother many years ago, Vernette, to a similar cancer. Today I’m grateful for your moving post and bringing back all those positive memories. Grace & Peace, Ken
Author
Thank you Ken! Light & Love!
I feel your pain Vernette. I lost my Dad last year (as you know) and although I was closer to him, nothing can replace a mother’s love and presence in your life. I find it strange I feel no great sadness for my Dad since he was my everything (although I do have my moments). But just know that your mum is in no more pain and this was her time…she fulfilled her purpose on this earth and this is His will. She will always be with you…in everything you do. Just live your life for her and always be true to you. She would want that and most of all she would want you to be happy and at peace, so you too can fulfil your purpose until you are called home to be reunited with her once again. I really did not know how to respond since you must go through your own grieving, but I wanted to be there for you, so I took a chance. I really do hope it helps in some way (and does not have the opposite effect 🙁 Wishing you infinite Peace & Love always and forever x 🙂
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Thanks for taking the chance and sharing your thoughts Carolyn. Much appreciated.
Thanks for sharing – I recently lost my father and it’s all still quite raw and fresh. It does not seem to get easier with time as everybody said – instead one learns to live with this new ‘normal’. I am learning to be grateful for all life’s good moments. I am learning to look back at the memories with joy and not pain. I believe in his own way that my father is still with us – I see it in my siblings, me and my mother too. Thanks for your words – inspiring. Your mother will be proud of you! 🙂 x
Author
I’m so sorry for your loss and I love that you are able to see the joy in the memories of your Dad. I especially love that you your see him in your sibs, yourself and your mom. That is special and something to cherish!
I am grateful for a new friend who met me today for a writing session at a coffee shop…that turned into a gab session…that turned into a 5hr marathon of heart-sharing.
And I am grateful for this post today, and for reading about a daughter’s love for her mother — and a mother’s love reflected in the daughter who carries forward.
<3 alice
Author
Isn’t it great when we have a totally unexpected heart open connection? Bonus when it happens over coffee :D! I appreciate you Alice! Thanks for reading.