VernetteOutLoud

Five Minute Friday: Write

Writing is like wrapping yourself up in words and giving yourself away. – Lisa-Jo Baker

I’m linking up again this week with Lisa-Jo Baker and the other lovely writers of Five Minute Friday. Click on the button below for more details on what this challenge is all about and how you can participate.

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Why do I write?

I’ve been asking myself this question for some time. On my blog I walk a line of “how much is too far”? Do I leave it all on the blog or do I need to find a clear purpose for why I started blogging in the first place and let that dictate how much I say here?

How much do I really say, how personal can I get without compromising myself and the people around me. Then my thoughts scare me more times than I like to admit. Do I really want anyone reading this someday and thinking damn she really was bat shit crazy…?

I think I have 2 major fears when it comes to what I write:

The first one being that when all is written and read…I cannot write well. Even though this is something I’ve wanted to do since I was a child.

The second being, I leave so much of me here that people think they know everything there is to know about me which is weird because when I write, I cannot hide the real me. And don’t I want people to know who I really am?

I write because I am an emotional cutter.

I write because I want to be comfortable in my skin.

I write because despite getting ‘E’ for talkative on pretty much ALL of my school reports as a child, I still can’t manage
to communicate how I really feel about the shitty things that happen in my life.

I write because I’m a bit of a narcissist.

I write because I really believe with all my heart that Love is the only currency we have and it should be our sole reason for the exchange of our time but there are too few of us who understand this and they choose to eff this thing up called Love. Every. Single. Time.

I write because I need to.

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Five Minute Friday: Hero

Writing is like wrapping yourself up in words and giving yourself away. – Lisa-Jo Baker

I’m linking up again this week with the fabulous Lisa-Jo Baker and the lovely writers of Five Minute Friday. Click on the button below for more details on what this challenge is all about and how you can participate.

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GO

In the eyes of a child, her mother is god.

As I got older however, she became more human.

I saw her raise three children on her own.

I saw her pick herself up after being retrenched from her job and do what she had to do, to ensure that we had what we needed not just to survive but to thrive.

I say it all the time, I am grateful for her sacrifices because she ensured that because of them we, her children will never be in the position that she was in.

I saw her believe me and love me through the worst experiences of my childhood and yes that’s experiences plural.

I saw her avenge me in her own way.

I saw her take on ovarian cancer like a true Spartan.

When I asked her maybe about a month before her death, what was the lesson she learned from that whole experience, she said “how to be strong.”

I don’t have her kind of strength…not even in my baby toe.

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Five Minute Friday: Visit

Folks I feel like I have truly found my tribe. I’m linking up again this week with the fabulous Lisa-Jo Baker and the lovely writers of Five Minute Friday. Click on the button below for more details on what this challenge is all about and how you can participate.

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When my uncle’s wife was dying in the hospital, I went to see her. I knew it was going to be hard but I felt that it was something I needed to do. Because my experience with my mother and hospitals taught me that no matter how hard it might be for you to see someone in a hospital bed…you’re not the one in the hospital. So suck it up and go.

So I went with my sister to see her. It was actually a few weeks from my sister’s wedding and my aunt started talking about the wedding. She told my sister that she didn’t think she would make it to the wedding and then she started saying her goodbyes and I lost it. It was exactly what I was afraid was going to happen.

Where did this come from though? Hmmm, I am realizing that for me the word visit is associated with hospitals and sickness and sadness.

I never describe catching-up with a friend as “visiting”. I might say, I went to check so and so or I had a small lime with this one or we had dinner.

I never use visit.

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Five Minute Friday: See

This is my first Five Minute Friday and I am joining a really awesome group of writers…man these ladies are so awesome I’m shaking in my boots blue socks just thinking about all the awesome. Click on the button below for more details on what this challenge is all about and how you can participate.

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My cousin in law said something to me earlier this week that really got under my skin. First she said, that if I wait too long to have kids, I will end up spending my “golden years” raising kids and who wants to do that. Then she said that I remind her of someone she knows who is 40, single and loving it.

When I mentioned to my sister that this got under my skin, she said to me “why are you allowing her to get under my skin in the first place?” Well truth is…she got under my skin because this is a very real fear of mine. That I will be 40, single and making the best of it. No offence to any awesome single 40-year-olds who are living life to the fullest.

All this to say…I wish I could see into the future and know how this all turns out…it will save me a whole lot of frustration in the present.

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