The One Where I Almost Quit This Blog

dominik-scythe-goodbye-unsplash

Dominik Scythe

I almost quit this blog! My last post in this space was back in early August. I was overwhelmed and I reached my lowest point with blogging. When the time came for hosting renewal, I let it lapse. Today, is actually the day my blog was supposed to be deleted from their server. But here I am. My love of writing and connecting and sharing won out in the end.

So, here I go, moving through this season of my life, hopefully, with bigger and better things in store. I’ve said it before, no one is above life’s twists and turns of fate. And it is the fact that we are all vulnerable to life’s ebbs and flows, that we are all connected.

Today I’m sharing seven little things I’m grateful for:

December Reflections

I’m doing Susannah Conway’s annual photo challenge on Instagram. You can follow along here. I am grateful most especially for yesterday’s prompt: Best Day of 2017. As I clicked through the hashtag, what stood out to me was that most people found it hard to choose just one day as their best day. That spoke volumes. Especially when, I myself was in a similar situation. Because even though not all of the 338 days so far for 2017 were the ‘best day ever’; they were all great days because I was alive to experience them, and in relatively good health too.

This was a sound reminder that while I struggled (still struggling) for most of the year, there was some good in each day. And ultimately, I want my legacy to be that I made the most of my time here. And that every day I wake up in the land of the living, I am reminded that today is a gift and that I am truly lucky to be alive. Do you have a best day of 2017?

Thankful For My Nephew

He is the light of my life. I don’t post photos of him on social media, so you have to take my word that this little man is the cutest thing. He has widened his vocabulary now to almost 10 words. He wants to talk so badly and have a conversation. I am waiting with joyful hope for when he can string a sentence together and ask questions so I can see how he interprets the world around him.

Exam season

Today, I’m sitting one of two final exams. I am nervous and I feel unprepared. But I’m going in anyway. This is the end of a years-long journey and the heralding of a new phase in my life. I’m savouring all parts of this journey, as it was not an easy road to get to this point. Nothing worth having ever is…is it?

2017

I plan to write more on what this year has meant to me. But for now, all I will say it that it’s been a year of change. Change almost always means growth, which translate into being uncomfortable. There have been many important moments in 2017. One of the hardest, was walking away from the person I thought I was. Owning my mistakes, being honest with myself and getting comfortable starting at the bottom. Getting comfortable making mistakes. Getting comfortable not knowing everything. I am thankful for the change and all the changes to come. Here’s to leveling up.

Powerful Reminders of Who Has My Back

I was reminded of this scripture this week: Jeremiah 29:11 ~ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Growing My Faith

I thank God for my mother every day, for it was her faith that engendered my own. We are two days into Advent season and this year, I’m taking this time seriously. Do you set spiritual goals for yourself? I do, not always successfully but I do. This year, I made a DIY Advent wreath, I’ve committed to fasting on Wednesdays and Fridays and generally preparing my heart for the reason for the season. Christ my saviour.

and finally…

This Blog and You Dear Reader

This space, this community and the time you spend here – keeps me going. You keep me accountable. I am truly humbled and grateful.

So that’s my seven for this week. On Mondays, “we post seven positives from the previous seven days of the week as a reminder of what we have so that the week starts out on an upswing. There is much truth in the belief that happy people attract good things, so it is important to start the week out right. Sometimes it’s the more grand, but other times, it’s the simple things.” 7 for Seven originated at Key + Arrow.

I hope that by continuing to pay attention to the little things, the mundane details that make up all the blessings in my life and by sowing the seeds of faith and gratitude, I can truly carry with me and reap the rewards of “positivity + balance + bliss” throughout the days ahead.

Thank you for reading, I appreciate you! This is me blowing some glitter and confetti on you because you’re super blessed to have received the gift of another 86,400 seconds today, to spend any way you desire.

Make those seconds count!

I love hearing from you…have you ever felt like quitting blogging? What did you do or stopped doing to turn things around? Feel free to share below!

 

Sending Love to the Day Ahead

love-new-day-ahead

Hello loves, can you believe that it’s August already? I swear, June and July lasted like 10 seconds each!

No but, seriously though, why is 2017 flying? I hope that you are on track for your goals this year and if not…it’s never too late to start.

Love To The Day Ahead

This morning, I got up very early, because of the significance of the day.

Seven years ago today, I said goodbye to my mother. I have written about it here, here, and here . And for the last seven years, I have always approached today heavy with sadness. And while, there is sadness associated with the day, I honestly have gotten to the point where I don’t want that sadness to impact the quality of my whole day.

I miss my mother every.single.day. that passes without her. That has not changed and I doubt it ever will. I read somewhere that worst part about grief, is not the loss of the person who means so much to you, the worst part is missing them every day for the rest of your life. And this, I have come to realize is true.

The truth is, I miss her every day, but I am not sad every day. I know in my heart that she could not have gone on being sick and living in pain. And I have made peace with that. So today, despite the sadness I feel, I also want to celebrate the time I did have with her. The time that was filled with joy and belly-laughs and experiences worth savouring and reminiscing about.

A Message Of Love

Today I am sending a message of love – in fact, all the love I feel for my mother – ahead to the day. I am sending a message of love to my brother and  my sister and to the rest of my family, who all miss the light that my mother was. I hope that this message of love is received and that our day is transformed by it.

This morning, as I listen to the world waking up around me, I reaffirm the love I feel and cherish for my mother and for all the persons touched by her light. May blessings be poured out upon all of you, and I pray that we all greet the day eager and ready to receive all the blessings and good things that have been set aside just for us.

Today I pray that you all (including you dear reader) are surrounded and saturated by warm and loving light. I send love to the roads that you will travel on today. To all the persons you will encounter today, I pray that they too, will be enveloped by love and radiate that love back to you. My hope and prayer is that that our entire day today, is infused by love and thus, suffused with grace.

I also send love to the people and situations that may frustrate you today. May they be covered them in warmth and tenderness, so that when they come up, they are just a little softer, so their impact is not as harsh. My hope is that today only brings you posivibes. I also pray that you all have a soft place to land at the end of day.

7 for SEVEN

So my dear friends, when I started writing this, it was supposed to be my official welcome to August and my 7 for Seven this week. However, it took on a life of it’s own and I’m going to let it be. And just do a short version of my gratitude list, because today is also a Monday…as and you know…

…every Monday, we post seven positives from the previous seven days of the week as a reminder of what we have so that the week starts out on an upswing. There is much truth in the belief that happy people attract good things, so it is important to start the week out right. Sometimes it’s the more grand, but other times, it’s the simple things.~Key + Arrow

7 for Seven originated at Key + Arrow and now let’s get into my 7 for this week:

I am grateful for the time spent with my mother.  I hope to always make her proud!

Another year of life. I celebrated another year around the sun on July 30th. This year for the first time in seven years, I felt like celebrating and I did to the fullest. My birthday was made all the more special by family and friends. And these are really the family we choose. I am truly grateful and blessed to have so much love in my life.

Connections – I am learning that stepping into my power and being seen is the only way I can move forward. Making connections are far more powerful than anything I will every try to achieve on my own. I am grateful for the courage this week to speak up and be seen.

Gratitude For The Simple Things

My job…because life as I know it, would not be possible without it. Amen for the love of good food, great coffee and fantastic vacations shared with the people I love.

God Always Sends Someone I was reminded that God always sends someone, when an 86-year-old driver crashed into my neighbour’s wall last week. I was home to help and I am so happy I did. She kept asking me, why I was helping her and I said to her, I’m only doing what I hope someone would have done for my mother.

Baby jeans with pockets. To the designers of baby clothes…you keep making pants with pockets for baby boys…why? They are the cutest but it always makes me wonder, what are they going to put in them. My nephew is wearing jeans ya’ll, with as you probably guessed…pockets. And now that I know that baby jeans exists…he will have a few.

The power of prayer. For I can do all things, through Christ who strengthens me.

Posivibes Only

And now my hope is that by continuing to pay attention to the little things, the mundane details that make up all the blessings in my life and by sowing the seeds of faith and gratitude, I can truly carry with me and reap the rewards of “positivity + balance + bliss” throughout the days ahead.

Thank you for reading, I appreciate you! This is me blowing some glitter and confetti on you because you’re super blessed to have received the gift of another 86,400 seconds today, to spend any way you desire. Make those seconds count!

I love hearing from you…what are you grateful today? Feel free to share below!

I Caught The Bouquet…NOW WHAT?

Yep. That happened. And it was my first time ever. Aaaand I wasn’t even trying. 

But let me start at the beginning…

So this past weekend was my birthday and my original plan was to be in Las Vegas getting my drink on. Long story short…man plans and God laughs. I ended up staying in Trinidad with no real plan for the weekend (and my birthday) other than spending time with family and attending my cousin’s wedding.

Things have a way of working out, you would think after three decades plus on this earth I would know this by now…but somehow that knowledge does not stick and I need reminders.

Anyways, back to my story, my cousin said ‘I do’ in a sweet ceremony that had the bride, the groom and most of the guests in tears. They are such a lovely couple and I wish them all the best life has to offer on this journey they are about to embark on with each other.

Fast forward to the reception, where things really got celebratory. Thanks to Johnny, Jose and Jack. Then, really medieval – because that’s how long DJs have been shaming all the single ladies at weddings. I took a sip of my scotch and LLB (that’s lime, lemon and bitters for you non-Caribbean folks) feeling all superior that I was just standing there making up numbers for the apparently highly anticipated bouquet toss.

*sad trombones* there was a false start. The bouquet hit the bulk head and landed on the back of my cousin’s lovely dress. That silhouette on her was amazing by the way, such a lovely bride!

Bouquet toss take-two was more successful. As it flew through the air…not too high, not too low all.the.single ladies…save one lunged forward, with excited screams and out-stretched arms…

Then the bouquet landed at my feet. And in my scotch infused humor I looked stupidly at it like…oh hey look. With what felt like minutes of hesitation then a slow-mo stoop to pick it up, I realized that the girl next to me was also waiting on my reaction. Which was priceless in itself.

20160731_210939

Oh hey look…I ‘caught’ the bouquet!

So ya’ll I didn’t actually catch the bouquet as much as it landed at my feet and I scooped it up.

My question after the photogs wanted that precious photo of the bride and sexy bouquet-catcher was…what do you do with the bouquet after you catch it? Do you give it back? Although I felt like that might be rude and you know if there is some truth to the legendfairytaletradition about the bouquet-snatcher being the next one to get married, I wouldn’t want to mess that karma up.

Cuz you know, I suck at dating.

All you single ladies…have you ever caught the bouquet at a wedding? What did you do with it afterward…and just out of curiosity *asking this for a friend* were you the next to get married?

Weekly Photo Challenge: Inspiration

IMG_20150731_114123

Some days inspiration flows in the intimacy of coffee at sunrise, giggles over dreams and the promise of what the rest of the day might hold.

Charlotte Eriksson, sums it up perfectly, with these words:

Let me wake up next to you, have coffee in the morning and wander through the city with your hand in mine, and I’ll be happy for the rest of my effed up little life.

Where do you find your inspiration?

Kissing Frogs

A Prince you say?

I got up this morning, had my usual breakfast smoothie and then headed to the shower. As I was finishing up, there in the corner of my bath was *scream* a frog!

HEART ATTACK!!!

I think we noticed each other’s existence at the same time. I almost broke my neck trying to get away from him and in his bid to get away, the frog jumped towards me for what, the Lord alone knows.

I know I didn’t get all the soap rinsed away but that was ok because no way was I going back in there. How that frog got into the bathroom is still a mystery to me. He must have been hiding under the shower curtain and when he heard the water got curious about what was happening. *bletch*

Disney's Princess and the Frog

To kiss or not to kiss?

If Mr. Frog was my Prince Charming…ah well…he will learn never to surprise a woman in the shower like that again if he wants a happily ever after. Fortunately, I do not believe in that crap fairy tales. Hmmm okay…so that is not entirely true. I believe that other people get the fairytale ending…just not me.

Other people like my brother and sister. My sister got hers last year and now my brother is getting married too. My baby brother is getting married tomorrow! I am ecstatic and happy that he has found a love that satisfies his soul and I’m a little sad too. Mum is not here to experience this, we are truly saying goodbye to childish things and entering a new phase of adulthood – the baby is getting married and well….I am still single.

Being around all this wedding stuff again, has me doing some self-appraisal. That little frog episode could not have happened at a more appropriate time…if there is ever an appropriate time for a frog to squat in your shower WHILE you are showering that is.

What happens when you’re the frog?

Egads! Vernette, is that you?

My self-appraisal brought enough clarity for me to deduce that, while I may think I’ve been kissing royally challenged frogs (see what I did there?) the croaker is actually me. After all…who is the common denominator in all these equations?

ME!

And guess what ladies and gentlemen? I’m learning that there is nothing wrong with being a frog. We need love too. And in the interim…kisses. Lots and lots of kisses.

Damn! Kissing can cause tied tongues.

So…if you happen to kiss a frog or three and you don’t get the “fairy tale” ending, does it make the love less real? If it does not end with a ring, does it mean that it was not a strong, earth-shattering, changed-forever kinda love?

I don’t believe in fairy tales…but I do believe that if the love is real, you are changed forever. Not into a prince or princess…but a better you, warts and all.

Ribbit! Ribbet!

*******
This post was originally published on October 26th, 2012.
Vernette is still kissing frogs on an island in the sun…
somewhere in the Caribbean.