VernetteOutLoud

XLIII

XLIII

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men might strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints,–I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!–and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-1861)
from Sonnets from the Portuguese

Your smile.
Your drive.
Your love for God.
Your left earlobe…
In fact the skin under your left ear lobe.
That mole on your collar-bone.
And the one on your leg too.
The way the light hits your eyes just so.
The way you light the world with your inner light.
The curve of your lower lip
And that little curve on your hip
…you know the one.
Your fire.
Your calm.
Your peace…
in all most things.
The past…it was all worth it.
Your presence is my present.
The future…we will create.
Together.

You accept me.
Flaws and claws.
Soft under-belly too.
You are my anchor.
You are my adventure.
I see you.
I love you.
You are my enough.
All of you.

…Always.
Me.

Castaway

I’m killing two birds with one stone today. I’m using today’s Daily Prompt to complete my NaBloPoMo post today.

If I were stuck on a deserted island the 5 items I’d want to have:

1. My Kindle. I thought about this in last four minutes of writing and realized that I’ll burn through the battery in no time. So not my kindle. I’ll bring a water bottle instead.

2. A knife or machete – I could protect myself, feed myself and shelter myself with this one.

3. Matches – Until I develop the patience to rub two sticks together I’ll need some help. A jumbo box of matches will help with building fires to alert passing boats.

4. A blanket – I went camping once on a small island off Trinidad some years ago and when the sun went down, that breeze coming off the ocean was deadly. I’ll need to be warm and a blanket will shelter me from the sun too.

5. A pair of crocs – I’ll need to explore said island and my feet need to be protected.

My phone rang and interrupted my last two minutes. So I’m using my last five minutes to complain about how the loud ticking of my timer was a distraction. I felt rushed trying to think and write coherently for 10 minutes. I was tempted to use “text speak” shortening my words. And I admit that I think I cheated using the Daily Prompt. Oh and I still want to take my Kindle. Even though the battery will die after 4 hours…I’ll be happy reading for 4 hours. And the timer buzzing literally shocked my brain and made me jump outta my skin!

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I’m participating in BlogHer’s NaBloPoMo Challenge for the month of December:

NaBloPoMo_MoreLess

You can read some awesome entries here: NaBloPoMo December.

What glass?

Each of us tends to think we see things as they are, that we are objective. But this is not the case. We see the world not as it is, but as we are – or, as we are conditioned to see it.
– Stephen covey

People say, optimists are the only ones who are disappointed and while I was growing up, my mother would drum into my head, “to always leave room for disappointment.” This was her way of keeping it real.

People will disappoint you and things wont always go the way you planned. Makes me remember that “to always leave room for disappointment.” was never more fitting than the last Christmas I saw my father in the flesh; he was already pretty much absent by then but he came to see us some days before the actual holiday and promised to be back to take us toy shopping on Christmas Eve. He never showed up. Ever. After.

Daddy issues aside…some might say that this was a pretty pessimistic thing to teach a child but as I got older, I understood what my mother was trying to do in her own way. She was trying to teach me how to let go of the outcome or not get too attached to “what might be”. You set the bar high, give it your all and then you let go. If at first your don’t succeed, regroup and try again. And hey, if you don’t want to try again…that’s cool too, because you gave it your best shot the first time around. It was a valuable lesson to learn and one I try to remember as I live each day.

There is no glass
Glass half-full…glass half-empty…I’m learning that for me to win at this life, I have to strive for the best, give it my all, have fun along the way and let go of the rest. I think my mama raised an optimist who escaped the Matrix…There is no glass…

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I’m participating in BlogHer’s NaBloPoMo Challenge for the month of December:

NaBloPoMo_MoreLess

You can read some awesome entries here: NaBloPoMo December.

Will you be my buddy?

I tried NaBloPoMo back in August and failed miserably which does not bode well for this month’s attempt. However, this time around, I’ve decided to take a different approach and I’ve created a manifesto and everything.
NMD

ac•count•a•bil•i•ty

– the state of being accountable, liable, or answerable.

Now that I’ve shared my plans for the month, all that is left is to find me some Accountability Buddies. You must be willing to call me out if I miss a day, be good cheerleaders and be totally up for coffee duty 24/7, because you never can tell when inspiration will strike.
Weirdos Welcome…we need to stick together!

All this to answer the question:
Do you think you’re more or less likely
to complete December’s NaBloPoMo?

Of course I am MORE likely to finish it…NOW!

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I’m participating in BlogHer’s NaBloPoMo Challenge for the month of December:

NaBloPoMo_MoreLess

You can read some awesome entries here: NaBloPoMo December.

Behind the scenes: Snakes & Ladders

crystalstine.me
I’m participating in Crystal Stine’s Behind the scenes link-up today.

You can check out other entries here or find out how to share your own here.

This is my first Behind The Scenes post and the hardest part was choosing the photo. My search revealed that I may have a slight addiction to taking photos of boats at sea but somehow those photos seemed lonely to me today. So I finally settled on this one:

Memories

memories…

The quality on this photo is a bit off because I took it with my crappy phone but I think you know the Milton Bradley version Chutes and Ladder but here in the Trinidad where I grew up this one is called Snakes and Ladders. I took this photo on August 16th 2010…bless my crappy phone for the date. I found this very old game, when I began the emotional and gargantuan task of packing up my mother’s things nine days after her death. It was surprisingly well-preserved despite a little stain on the back and signs of age at the fold.

I could not believe that she still had it. She saved it long after we lost the markers and dice….long after we stopped playing those games.

LONG after we were all grown up and too old to play games like that.

She cherished it.

I immediately snapped this shot and sent it to my brother and sister. We never knew she kept this little reminder of our childhood. Snakes and ladders was one of the first games she taught us how to play.

As I sat on her bed, among some of the other little keepsakes she’d kept over the years, I saw her sitting on the floor with us as children and playing this same snakes and ladders. If any one of us won more than three times, mummy would cheat…yep cheat to win. Yes folks my mother hated losing…to her children. I saw her laughing when she got caught too. She was not afraid to have fun or let her inner child out.  Games night at our house used to be quite interesting.

I laughed. I cried. And that was pretty much the end of the “packing up” that day.