VernetteOutLoud

The Best Books I Read This Year

I read a whole lot. A fact you wouldn’t know because the number of reviews published on this blog is not a true reflection of the number of books I actually read…another case of my Drafts Folder working overtime.

Anyhoo, I was fortunate to read books this year that moved me in a very real way, so much that they left a lasting impression on me and my life. And then of course there were the duds but thankfully not very many.

The most influential book I read this year was I Will Teach You To Be Rich by Ramit Sethi. Getting my finances in order was a major priority over the last 12 months and this book provided much-needed guidance on doing just that.

The Darkest ChildMy OH-EM-GEE-I-LOOOOVE-THIS book for 2014 is The Darkest Child by Delores Phillips. This book was a page-turner I devoured in eight hours…I shit you not! It was that good.

Unfortunately, I learned that the author, Delores died earlier this year. So there is no chance of a follow-up story or even reaching out to her for answers. I have so many questions. But such is life. SO now I have to be content with recommending it to everybody and hoping to start a conversation about it.

This writing business is soul work sometimes and it takes a whole lot out of you most times. The book that helped me hone my writing craft is Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. It just may be my absolute favourite book on writing.

One of the gifts of being a writer is that it gives you an excuse to do things, to go places and explore. Another is that writing motivates you to look closely at life, at life as it lurches by and tramps around. – Anne Lamott

The book I reread this year and totally recommend is The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. It’s the kind of book you want to reread every year…if only as a reminder that life is short. Get busy living NOW.

Honorable mention goes to Wishing for Wings by Debbie Jacob because it changed my perspective on a forgotten bunch of young men in Trinidad & Tobago.

Debbie is a local author who taught English to young men imprisoned for crimes that included murder and robbery. I had the awesome pleasure of meeting the author and being able to get some of my questions answered. This book was truly an eye-opener and I will write a review on soon. It is a definite must read.

The book I started at the beginning of the year, and is still reading…because ironically I find it absolutely boring is The Interestings by Meg Wolitzer. It’s long and kinda meh. I hope to finish it before the end of the year…not holding my breath though.

Already on my reading list for 2015:

And now it’s your turn.

Tell me, what books have you read this year, that you recommend I put on my reading list for 2015?

Five Minute Friday: Give

Five-Minute-Friday-4-300x300

I’m linking up again this week with the lovely Kate and the other awesome writers of the Five Minute Friday community.

Click on the button to the right for more details on what this challenge is all about and how you can participate.

GO

You know it’s time to make some changes, when the KFC delivery guy calls you ‘Vern’.

True Story.

It happened last night.

He also gave me some shade for wanting Pepsi instead of the apple flavored soft drink.

Want to know the saddest part of this whole mole hill I’m making into a mountain for the purposes of a Five Minute Friday story? And no it isn’t the heart attack waiting to happen or the fact that I don’t have KFC all that often I swear or that I don’t even know the delivery guy’s first name…

The saddest part about this story is that I wanted to tweet that first sentence, typed it out and agonized over hitting send for far too long, deleted it…and then Five Minute Friday came along and I turned it into a blog post.

Why?

Because I love writing about the minutiae of my life read the words over and over and came the realization that I’m not really all that funny and I really, really didn’t want people knowing just how much KFC I consume on twitter. Aaaaand I was more than a little worried that KFC’s social media manager will somehow ‘see’ the tweet and respond – like Cinnabon did.

Sometimes I feel like I’m doing this writing thing wrong. I over think everything. Even tweets! I write, and rewrite and then re-write some more and still the post will sit in my Drafts folder for ages. I’m going to hit publish on this piece, simply because I feel like I need to give myself a break sometimes and not be so serious all the time.

I suppose that’s what writing for five minutes is all about. Do you agree?

STOP

I ran out of time and did some proofreading after the five minutes were up.

Ice Cream Again!

Tuesday 18th May, 2010

It just dawned on me the ‘coincidences’ of today. I’m having some sort of epiphany. Today the Daily Om Inspiration spoke about how God doesn’t bring you to it, if He’s not going to bring you through it. And then I’m sitting here re-reading Tuesdays with Morrie and I realize that He’s been preparing me mentally since the first day I took my first hesitant step away from my mother.

All the books I’ve consumed lately about living in the now: The Power of the Present; Randy Paush’s The Last Lecture, all prepared me in some way for the journey that began on Monday.

My Father in heaven has been preparing me since the day I went to kindergarten for the first time. When I started primary school and by half day I was in the class a year ahead with the older kids…going home my very first day of ‘big school’ with a gift for my mother that read ‘My name is Vernette and I am in Second Year’ it started at the top of the page and went straight across to the bottom. (She still has it)

When I sat my first major exam and my mother wasn’t there to hold my hand or help me solve the math problem, I had to do this on my own. I had to draw from all the knowledge I had in me and with her voice calming me in my head reminding me to pray. I was able to do what I had to.

God was preparing me the day he formed me in my mother’s womb. The very act of being born, is the first testament to letting go. He was preparing me the first time I was conscious of going to church. I remember it was just during Lent waaaay back when my biggest concern was how she was going to comb my hair for church and whether my sister and I would get to wear our favourite socks. You know the kind when you turn it down there is a cute lacy frill at the edge?

It is this faith, cultivated by mummy over the years, that I draw upon now. It is this lifetime of being prepared mentally and emotionally I draw on for the strength to let go. My strong, vibrant and in my eyes – my very own goddess of Love…My mother.

There are many things I can say about life: That it is about living and not existing. Treasure your loved ones. Love them to life as my sister and friend Giselle says. But none is more important than living in the NOW.

Now is all I have with mummy. Now is all I need. To love her to life to ensure that she lives and not exists for the rest of her life. However long that turns out to be.

Saturday 7th August, 2010

Mummy died today at 1:58 p.m.

Monday 23rd August, 2010

Came out to work today and it’s like I’ve stepped into another world. I think the hardest thing about all of this, is acknowledging that life goes on. For everyone else this is just another Monday. For me, everything is different.

I’m different.

Can’t the world see that?

I’m trying to see myself through her eyes…to grow into someone she would be proud of. I want to live my life in a way that honors her memory. I still cannot believe that my mother is dead. She was here alive and cracking jokes just last month. I keep thinking she knew…she knew! She knew all along. From the day she asked Father to come give her confession. She knew. She must have.

I want to be home.

Monday 13th September, 2010

Fucking ice cream again. All I seem to be craving is ice cream. Kanye is toasting assholes and scumbags; Willow is flipping her hair. And all I want right now is the sweet comfort of Belgian Chocolate creaminess on my tongue and in my tummy.

I can feel the warmth of a tear slowly leaking out unto my face.

This is an excerpt from the journal I kept during the months before and after my mother’s death on August 7th 2010.

Quote of the Day

Junot Diaz

Read, enjoy, share.

Anytime, anywhere.

{Linking back to http://VernetteOutLoud.wordpress.com is appreciated.}

Joan Didion and I could totally be pals…

proustSo I took Vanity Fair’s version of Proust’s questionnaire and guess what…Joan Didion and I should have coffee someday.

Here are my responses:

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

    That extra five minutes just before getting out of bed, where I set my intentions for the day ahead.

2. What is your greatest fear?

    Living a mediocre life…and leeches. SLUGS and LEECHES!!!

3. Which historical figure do you most identify with?

    I’m really stumped here. I cannot think of anyone…right now.

4. Which living person do you most admire?

    Hmmm…I really am stumped here also. I admire a lot of people for a lot of different reasons. ***I would so change this answer to Joan Didion now***

5. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

    I procrastinate a lot. Case in point the time this post is going to be published today…

6. What is the trait you most deplore in others?

    Disloyalty.

7. What is your greatest extravagance?

    Travel. I’ve been bitten hard by the travel bug. And Van Houtte’s Chocolate Raspberry Truffle Coffee K-cups. *stops to make a cuppa*

8. On what occasion do you lie?

    Those “How are you?”…”I’m fine.” occasions.

9. What do you most dislike about your appearance?

    My big forehead. Thankfully, my boobs are kinda big…so there’s that.

10. When and where were you happiest?

    Exploring Manhattan by myself last October, while on vacation.

11. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

    Starting before I’m ready.

12. If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?

    Not being honest with each other. There have been too many family falling-outs because people were not 100% honest.

13. What do you consider your greatest achievement?

    Being able to be strong for my mother when she needed me the most and being strong enough to let her go when she needed me to.

14. If you died and came back as a person or a thing, what do you think it would be?

    A dragon of course. Because…dragons!

15. What is your most treasured possession?

    A pair of earrings my mum always wore. They’re not expensive…the beads probably cost $5 but to me they are priceless. I remember wearing them to the movies one evening and when the lights came on I couldn’t find one side. My sister and I looked EVERYWHERE. We were there still frantically looking when the staff came in the sweep the room. They saw how near-tears I was and they kindly joined in the search. I guess they probably thought I was crazy looking for such a cheap bauble. Anyways we didn’t find it and I left completely broken-hearted. Until I got home and opened the bag with the extra slice of Tiramisu I bought…and found the earring inside. I’ve never worn them out of my apartment since.

16. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

    Seeing the one you love and not being the one they’re with.

17. Who are your heroes in real life?

    My uncle Earl. He’s been married to my aunt for 53 years. He is the father we all know. And my brother. I watched my brother take care of my sister-in-law during her pregnancy and that experience changed my view on men, husbands, fathers and brothers. When he grew up and became a man…I don’t know. But my sister-in-law is blessed with a good man. And yes I’m a biased big sister.

18. What is that you most dislike?

    Hmmm it would be disloyalty. Yes I said that before but disloyalty is like a pebble in my shoe.

19. How would you like to die?

    Old and grey…peacefully in my bed with my loved ones around me.

20. What is your motto?

    Love now.

I read Joan’s book, The Year of Magical Thinking shortly after my mum died. One of my friends gave it to me and that was the time I needed to read it. She’s 79 years old now…but I think she understands this writing business. Joan said that she never understands how she feels about something until she’s written about it.

I write entirely to find out what I’m thinking, what I’m looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear. – Joan Didion

We should so have coffee…or tea…my Keurig makes both.