Today’s affirmation:
Today I give from the heart.
Lately, I’ve been chronically late for work. I know it’s because there is a lot going on inside of me. My birthday is coming up, that usually brings reflections on where I am and where I’m going and why I’m not further along. My mother’s 2 year anniversary is a week away. I think about her all the time. I miss her so much. My lateness is a combination of all that coupled with insomnia and a general I-don’t-feel-like-going-to-work-today-ness.
Today was no different. I got to work a few minutes late. As I was walking through the doors of my building, I felt a pang of guilt for not putting the needs of the company for which I am paid just enough to keep me coming back, before my own. I decided that today, I was going to view my work and my co-workers through eyes of love and compassion. This is hard most times because my department is a melting pot of personalities, mine included. Usually I slip into a let’s just get this over with mode. But the more I thought about it, is the more I realized that life is in the details. And work was part of those details. I was still coming off the high of the Nariva Hike and it really got me thinking about work in the context of my life. The time I spent at the office with these people I barely know or care to know, made up a third of my day. I needed to be more present to this experience that affords me the opportunity to experience things like Nariva and Jamaica and Green Smoothies.
So I set about being more mindful as the day progressed. There is a report outstanding, which our IT department is working on delivering. In the meantime, my unit still had to present something to Senior Management. Over the weekend a solution occurred to me and when I got to work I decided to test it and it worked. Sharing this bit of information with my supervisor would mean working overtime to get this interim report done.
I shared it with him anyway, because I wanted to clear the bad energy from my lateness, my disdain for my co-workers and my general apathy of late during time I spend in my office building. I wanted to complete this project and I wanted to do something positive for my unit. Yes, technically it wasn’t my “job”, but I felt so much better when the report was completed and presented, despite having to work late to complete it. There was a certain satisfaction and pride when I did; I think my intention was accomplished.