Life Out Loud Archives - VernetteOutLoud

Vernette August 7, 2022

12 Years Later: I Still Need Her

They say time heals all wounds, but that presumes the source of the grief is finite. ― Cassandra Clare

Intro: Six years ago, I wrote the post below. Now six years later, every word echoes the grief I feel. Still.

On a Thursday morning earlier this year, I woke wanting to speak to my mother. The urge was so overwhelming I ended up in tears. Because as much as I feel like I can talk to her in spirit it is not the same. It will never be the same.

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***This post was originally published on August 07, 2016. Even though she just celebrated yet another "big birthday number"...Vernette is still looking around for an adultier adult when shit hits the fan.***

Vernette March 26, 2019

Phagwa 2019 – A Time for Renewal

What is the story you want to tell?

That was the question posed to us by photo walk leader, Maria Nunes as we gathered last Sunday for Phagwa celebrations at Hindu Prachar Kendra in Enterprise, Chaguanas.

Phagwa or Holi as it is also called, is a traditional Hindu festival of colours, celebrating the start of spring. It was introduced to Trinidad and Tobago by indentured East Indian labourers around 1845. While we don’t have spring here in Trinidad, we joyfully celebrate this time of renewal as participants are sprayed (and do their own fair share of spraying) with a variety of coloured dyes and powders.

MY STORY

Now let’s back up a bit, so you can understand how I even came to be in Phagwa celebrations in the first place.

When 2019 started, I made several promises to myself – one of which was that I would say yes to more adventures that took me out of my comfort zone and not cancel at the last minute to stay home and binge watch Netflix.

So it was a no-brainer, when Chan and Ru invited me to a photo walk
for Phagwa which was being organized by the Photographic Focus Group, I was like YES! Because…two birds one stone kinda business. I get to keep a promise to myself and learn a little more about our culture in the process.

MY YES

Just so you know how big of a ‘YES’ this really was:

1. I do not own a camera. I use my phone (not an iphone) to capture all of my photos.

2. I have never been to any Phagwa celebrations before; and I have only ever had a mild interest in what it was all about.

And 3. The only photo walk I’ve ever been on entails me walking around with my phone, taking random shots of things I like hoping for the best.

For the photo walk, Ru generously loaned me a Fujifilm FinePix XP120 (underwater) point and shoot camera. It was perfect for the day’s activities and using this type of camera certainly pushed me out of my comfort zone.

THE STORIES I CHOSE TO TELL

Initially I wanted to capture the faces of Phagwa because I suppose faces tell the obvious story. And it seemed like the easiest choice in a festival of colour. I also thought about hands… but as the field filled up with people a whole new story emerged.

I felt a little out of place. I had never been to a celebration such as this, where there is a religious aspect backed by a live soundtrack of political commentary. But somehow it worked. And it reminded me that this is inherently what makes Trinidad & Tobago, the land that I love, so unique. Every creed…does find their place here.

We started with a prayer and I noticed that more than anything else…the sense of community was everywhere. This made me think about legacies. How we pass on traditions to our children and how we tell our story so they can learn from it and grow. So ultimately, they too would be able to tell their own stories.

ONE FAMILY, ONE COMMUNITY

As I started focusing on that…it became clear – the story I wanted to tell. It was in the families present. The generations – young mothers, some pregnant mothers and the matriarchs. The more mature lady who explained to me that the colours had meaning, while “blessing” me with some blue and red powder. Blue represents protection from evil while red symbolizes love and fertility. And I was like bless me with plenty of both!

The dads. There were so many dads holding babies and grandfathers holding grand-babies. I was impressed by the level of male participation. The guys came out and showed out. In a time where men are often reviled for not being present, here they were as much a part of the festivities as everyone else.

I did not want to be intrusive. So I tried to capture those family moments of love and legacy and overlapping stories as an interested but awed bystander.

As the afternoon wore on, the shrieks of glee from the children overpowered even my own reticence for the unfamiliar. I began to feel more comfortable in my skin. Maybe that had to with the fact that after a while, you just have to go with the flow and get into the fun of the thing. Or maybe it was due to the mask of paint I was wearing and there is some freedom in masks. But soon enough, I relaxed and had some fun.

While I had fun…which had more to do with my friends being there than the actual festivities, I may not attend Phagwa celebrations in the future. However, I do feel like the traditions of Phagwa are in good hands. And this is definitely a festival I would recommend you experience at least once.

Vernette January 8, 2018

The ONE Where Normal Routine Resumes

Photo by Cristian Escobar on Unsplash

Hey you guuuys! Welcome to the first full working week (!) of 2018. Normal routine resumes here in Trinidad, as schools reopen today to start the second term of the school year.

And my love hate relationship with Monday continues.

But first, a note about 2017 – it was a year of struggle, change, plenty growth and so much more. I am grateful to still be here. I am over the moon to still be writing in this space.

And now a wish for 2018 – I hope (for you) this year is filled with plenty love, worthwhile friendships, great health and abundance.

I am excited to kick-off the first working Monday of 2018 with renewed focus, dedication and positive energy towards cultivating a space so that it is beneficial to both you and me.

And so today I’m sharing seven things I’m grateful for:

Normal Routines

Because what we do every day, the little things…actually make up our lives. Here’s to creating a life that is awesome every.single.day.

My job

Here is to making a life and not just a living. I’m grateful that my job affords me the opportunity to do more than just pay bills. Anyone else, planning a cool project/travel somewhere awesome for 2018? Feel free to share below.

Powerful reminders

“This is the real secret of life — to be completely engaged with what you
are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work,
realize it is play.” — Alan Watts

Baby S

Is no longer a baby. In fact, he learned the word for baby and identifies them. So he is now officially a toddler. I’m so excited for this phase in his life. He is learning words so rapidly now. Oh and ‘cookie’ is one of his favourites!

My people

I closed 2017 spending time with family and friends who are family. The absolute best way to usher in a new year.

The Time I’m Living In

I always say that God chose this time in history to bless the world with your presence. Your being here is a present to the present. And how cool is it that we’re living in a time where the most influential women in the world are creatives, doing what they want and living how they want!

and finally…

You can fall in love anytime you want

That’s the beauty of being alive…isn’t it!

So that’s my seven for this week. On Mondays, “we post seven positives from the previous seven days of the week as a reminder of what we have so that the week starts out on an upswing. There is much truth in the belief that happy people attract good things, so it is important to start the week out right. Sometimes it’s the more grand, but other times, it’s the simple things.” 7 for Seven originated at Key + Arrow.

I hope that by continuing to pay attention to the little things, the mundane details that make up all the blessings in my life and by sowing the seeds of faith and gratitude, I can truly carry with me and reap the rewards of “positivity + balance + bliss” throughout the days ahead.

Thank you for reading, I appreciate you! This is me blowing some glitter and confetti on you because you’re super blessed to have received the gift of another 86,400 seconds today, to spend any way you desire.

Make those seconds count!

I love hearing from you…have you ever felt like quitting blogging? What did you do or stopped doing to turn things around? Feel free to share below!

Vernette December 9, 2017

Ice Cream Rollin’ In Sweet T&T

I am totally a dessert first kinda gal. And I have no thigh gap to prove it.

But I digress.

Thai-style rolled ice cream is the latest dessert trend to hit my sweet twin-island state and I ain’t mad at all. This handmade build-you-own ice cream treat gives you all the freedom to come up with your own satisfying combinations.

Only three months old, the founders here in Trinidad are ready for growth and expansion. As evidenced by their recent move from a tent in a garage to a bigger, more spacious sit-in spot at their new location in Woodbrook.

After my exams wrapped up this week, I headed down to Woodbrook to see what the fuss was all about.

Rolled Ice Cream: How It Works

So how it works is: you choose your vessel: waffle cone or cup. Next you select your base – you have five options to choose from. Then, your choice of mixes, anything from fresh fruit to cakes and cookies. And finally your toppings – from fruit loops to waffle sprinkles. Whatever, makes you ice-cream lovin’ heart happy! Uh, so so good.

I chose a mocha base, with chocolate cake and the add-ons were whipped cream and chocolate syrup. Oh, and I got a large cup. It was a lot of ice cream, but when is that ever a problem, right?

On a -32 degree surface, the ice cream artist will add your choice of “mixes” to the ice cream base you selected. The ingredients are blended together and the ice cream begins to freeze. Next, the mixture is spread in a very thin layer over the cold surface. After a short while, the ice cream is scraped or rolled off the surface. I posted a video of the whole process on my Instagram page, if you want to see how it all comes together.

I marvelled at the precision involved…spreading the mixture just so…to ensure you get the right amount of rolls to fit your cup. The ice cream rolls are then placed in the cup and covered in whatever topping you desired. One serving can cost about TTD $38. Not bad for an extremely customized dessert treat.

I sat in my car and savoured every bite of this bowl, while the rest of Trinidad raced to and from their destinations. My time out of time…until I too rejoined the frantic masses.

You can get your sweet fix at Roll ‘Em Up from Tuesday to Thursday Saturday 3pm – 9pm, Friday and Saturday 3pm to 11pm and on Sunday 5pm – 9pm at 40 Warren Street, Woodbrook.

Vernette December 4, 2017

The One Where I Almost Quit This Blog

Dominik Scythe

I almost quit this blog! My last post in this space was back in early August. I was overwhelmed and I reached my lowest point with blogging. When the time came for hosting renewal, I let it lapse. Today, is actually the day my blog was supposed to be deleted from their server. But here I am. My love of writing and connecting and sharing won out in the end.

So, here I go, moving through this season of my life, hopefully, with bigger and better things in store. I’ve said it before, no one is above life’s twists and turns of fate. And it is the fact that we are all vulnerable to life’s ebbs and flows, that we are all connected.

Today I’m sharing seven little things I’m grateful for:

December Reflections

I’m doing Susannah Conway’s annual photo challenge on Instagram. You can follow along here. I am grateful most especially for yesterday’s prompt: Best Day of 2017. As I clicked through the hashtag, what stood out to me was that most people found it hard to choose just one day as their best day. That spoke volumes. Especially when, I myself was in a similar situation. Because even though not all of the 338 days so far for 2017 were the ‘best day ever’; they were all great days because I was alive to experience them, and in relatively good health too.

This was a sound reminder that while I struggled (still struggling) for most of the year, there was some good in each day. And ultimately, I want my legacy to be that I made the most of my time here. And that every day I wake up in the land of the living, I am reminded that today is a gift and that I am truly lucky to be alive. Do you have a best day of 2017?

Thankful For My Nephew

He is the light of my life. I don’t post photos of him on social media, so you have to take my word that this little man is the cutest thing. He has widened his vocabulary now to almost 10 words. He wants to talk so badly and have a conversation. I am waiting with joyful hope for when he can string a sentence together and ask questions so I can see how he interprets the world around him.

Exam season

Today, I’m sitting one of two final exams. I am nervous and I feel unprepared. But I’m going in anyway. This is the end of a years-long journey and the heralding of a new phase in my life. I’m savouring all parts of this journey, as it was not an easy road to get to this point. Nothing worth having ever is…is it?

2017

I plan to write more on what this year has meant to me. But for now, all I will say it that it’s been a year of change. Change almost always means growth, which translate into being uncomfortable. There have been many important moments in 2017. One of the hardest, was walking away from the person I thought I was. Owning my mistakes, being honest with myself and getting comfortable starting at the bottom. Getting comfortable making mistakes. Getting comfortable not knowing everything. I am thankful for the change and all the changes to come. Here’s to leveling up.

Powerful Reminders of Who Has My Back

I was reminded of this scripture this week: Jeremiah 29:11 ~ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Growing My Faith

I thank God for my mother every day, for it was her faith that engendered my own. We are two days into Advent season and this year, I’m taking this time seriously. Do you set spiritual goals for yourself? I do, not always successfully but I do. This year, I made a DIY Advent wreath, I’ve committed to fasting on Wednesdays and Fridays and generally preparing my heart for the reason for the season. Christ my saviour.