VernetteOutLoud

My Odyssey with Love

True love is one-way traffic. It’s a pure flow of giving and expecting nothing in return. Anything else is a contract. Notice how whenever you allow love to flow you are always clear, calm and strong. It is only when the thought arises, “What have they given me in return?” that there is confusion and resentment. Ego transacts, love transforms. Life is too short for all these meticulous contracts and transactions. Remain clear, remain bright, and remain strong. Love without expectation.
– Marc and Angel

I’ve been hurt. A lot.

I’ve had expectations. Too numerous for my own sanity.

Love without Expectation.

Is this even possible?

Valentine’s Day came and went, how many of you had expectations?

How many of you were disappointed and sad?

There are those of us who understand that this love thing is a 365 day celebration.

It requires every day action.

OneWord2013_Truth150

As I continue my journey with my one little word for 2013 TRUTH, I’ve realized that I’ve come to a place where I can say thank you for the love lessons. I’ve had positive and negative experiences and what I’ve learned from both is to:

    1. Always speak the truth
    2. Keep my heart open
    3. Forgive
    4. Let go
    5. Love

This is my post Valentine’s Day message. Forgive. Let go. Love.

People are so afraid of saying “I love you” sometimes. I’ve found that saying it does not make you vulnerable. Saying “I love you” is empowering. It’s freeing. Love is freedom…in all our relationships.

I read somewhere that Happiness is Freedom. Yes, Happiness is freedom…and freedom is being honest.

My one little word TRUTH directs how I present what is in my heart. Truth allows me to open up. My Truth may not always be pretty or what people want to hear…but it has to be expressed. Only then can I be truly free to be me.

And in turn, I must accept TRUTH when it presents itself to me. I must be open to the TRUTH in others and allow that truth to be expressed.

Especially when it’s not what I want to hear. This has been the lesson for February. To accept truth as it is. Not how I wish it to be.

I started this journey with so many plans, hopes and dreams and while I’ve not yet reached where I intended…I’ve been blessed to always be where I’m needed.

I believe that I am love. I AM LOVE.

Every encounter is a divine encounter. I give love and I shine my light and every person I meet has a light to shine for me.

So Thank You for the lessons and I love you.

Love without expectation.

Love without expectation?

I challenge you all, as I challenge myself, to Love without expectation.

Look out for my next update on March 15th. To read updates from other bloggers click here!

Trifextra Challenge: 33-ish

“…disease?
What’s that?
“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.”
His voice dropped to a whisper.
“Let it come in.”

― Mitch Albom, Tuesdays With Morrie pg. 16 – the words of Morrie Schwartz

Ok so my original submission was not quite 33 words…it was only 30 but I updated it to include three words to satisfy the rules of the challenge. I hope you still get what I was trying to say. In this chapter Morrie was telling Mitch what was the most important lesson his disease was teaching him. Tuesdays with Morrie is one of my favourite books and this is one of my favourite quotes from it. “LET LOVE IN!”

February, is after all, the month of Love!

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I’m participating in Trifecta’s Trifextra Challenge for this weekend:
Trifecta Writing Challenge

“This weekend we are venturing into uncharted territories once again. This Trifextra isn’t so much a writing challenge; it’s more of a reading challenge. We want you to scour through your favorite pieces of literature and give us the best 33 words you can find.”

You can check out others’ entries or submit your own at:

Trifextra: Week Fifty-Four

Please feel free to share your own “favorite 33 words” below.

Ganglion Style

About a month ago I noticed a small, hard lump on the back of my left wrist.

It was painful.

The first thing I thought was, “oh God, please let this not be what I think it is.”

Even though I know better, I’ve been trying to pretend it wasn’t there for a whole month…and after I busted up my thumb, my wrist was pushed far down on my list of things to worry about.

That was…until yesterday.

Over the weekend, the lump appeared to have grown bigger and it was more painful than ever.

“Water more than flour” as we say in Trinidad!

I told my sister about it and she insisted that I get it checked out…no matter what it turned out to be, we would deal with it.

I wasn’t so sure.

I had a lump removed from my left breast three years ago, it was a precaution because of my family history and we knew that it was more than likely benign. So no worries there.

But this hard, little lump…this now really painful lump striped all bravado away. I was scared.

I needed to prepare myself, so what did I do…

I Googled it.

Turned out this hard, little bump is kinda common.

It’s a Ganglion Cyst. My doctor confirmed it today.

That's not normal!

That’s not normal!

You live and you learn; before my wrist tried to grow a horn, I had no idea that these things existed. These lil bad boys are also called “Bible Bumps” because in the past the standard treatment for this bump was smashing it with a heavy book, which was…you guessed it, usually a Bible.

They commonly occur at the back of the hand at the wrist joint and what causes them is unknown. Some say trauma, some say a flaw in the joint capsule or tendon covering but whatever the cause, there is a little hard-on bulging out of my left hand I needed to get rid of it.

So after seeing my doctor, who said he removed one for a friend by smashing it…I did the thing the internet warned against. I smashed it with a bible….ganglion style! HA!

Hurt like a b****!

You can read more about Ganglion cysts here.

Shipwrecked: Taking one for the team

Sketch of the Mignonette by Tom Dudley (1853-1900)

Sketch of the Mignonette by Tom Dudley (1853-1900)

Daily post prompt: Read the story of Richard Parker and Tom Dudley. Is what Dudley did defensible? What would you have done?

I was riveted reading this story.

I kept moving between oh my gosh I can’t believe this really happened and oh my gosh this is so gross but I can’t stop reading and wow this is sooo Life of Pi.

Here’s a quick summary:


Four sailors: Tom Dudley, captain, Edwin Stephens, Edmund Brooks, and Richard Parker, the cabin boy were shipwrecked. After many days at sea with no food, or clean water, they draw lots to see who will take “one” for the team. Nature intervenes and Parker gets really sick. He slips into a coma. The decision is made. Dudley kills Parker. All three eat and drink and survive. They are eventually rescued and subsequently charged with Parker’s murder.

My thoughts:

I still can’t get over that this really happened.

What Dudley did was defensible in my eyes. Yes, I subscribe to “Thou shall not kill” and I am also no expert on law and while it may be “reason free from passion” (thanks Legally Blonde), I believe that until we are in that moment, going though the experience of hunger to the point of madness, we cannot pass judgement.

So I endorse what the panel of judges said:

To preserve one’s life is generally speaking a duty, but it may be the plainest and the highest duty to sacrifice it. War is full of instances in which it is a man’s duty not to live, but to die. The duty, in case of shipwreck, of a captain to his crew, of the crew to the passengers, of soldiers to women and children, as in the noble case of the Birkenhead; these duties impose on men the moral necessity, not of the preservation, but of the sacrifice of their lives for others, from which in no country, least of all, it is to be hoped, in England, will men ever shrink, as indeed, they have not shrunk. – R v. Dudley and Stephens [1884] 14 QBD 273 DC

What Would Vernette Do?

What Would Vernette Do?

What would I have done?

I have learned through taking care of my mother during the final stages of cancer, that you don’t know how strong you are, until you have to be. That was the only option I had. So, would I take one for the team?

Would I take a knife to someone for my own survival…would I offer myself, so that others could survive? On either side of the knife…I would have to be strong.

I know strong. Strong I can definitely do.

But man was it tough being a Richard Parker in the 1800s!!!