According to 1000 Awesome Things…”packed boxes are ghosts.”
When I moved into my apartment over two years ago I unpacked everything except 5 large cardboard boxes. I’ve been delaying unpacking these last few things because there was a part of me that felt if I unpacked ALL the boxes then this “new” space would not really be temporary. I felt that if I unpacked everything then it means that I have really moved on. I’ve truly said goodbye to my childhood.
All this time I have had these 5 boxes in my tiny kitchen and lived with them…they became part of the room. Inside they held my mother’s things: Crockery, bowls, glasses…the first prize I ever won at a school sports day. Until now I just could not face unpacking them…it was 3 parts I don’t want to unpack mummy’s things and 1 part laziness.
Biggest surprise: I did not cry. Not even when I removed the wrapping on her prized CorningWare bowls. Instead, as I carefully washed them I remembered the meals we used to prepare in them and I thought about the ones I have yet to create. I look forward to using them. No ghosts here.
Today’s prompt asks whether you’re doing the holidays larger or smaller this year? While I don’t have that much Christmas spirit…no decorations or lights or even a tree…I guess I’m doing Christmas on a larger scale (for me) this year. Unpacking my mother’s things and handling that as well as I did, has shown me that I have made some major progress in my journey with grief. I also cleaned more than I did last year and the year before that…that’s for damn sure. My aching shoulders are testament to how much cleaning has been going on. I’m not even completely finished too. I’m on break right now…
So as I sit and type this in my kitchen/living room I cannot help but note that my apartment feels lighter because those boxes are gone.
I realize too that despite how tired I am right now…I feel lighter because I’m moving forward.
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I’m participating in BlogHer’s NaBloPoMo Challenge for the month of December:
You can read some awesome entries here: NaBloPoMo December