VernetteOutLoud

Quote of the Day

“The Paradoxical Commandments”

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.


– Kent M. Keith,
The Silent Revolution: Dynamic Leadership in the Student Council

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There are only a few hours left in 2013 and I’m so proud of me for having stuck with Blogher’s NaBloPoMo December. I started this journey with a Gratitude post and I am ending on that note as well.

I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR TODAY.

I got to feel the sun on my skin. I made peace with the past. I cried. I lit a candle for all that was and for all that is yet to come. I lived to see today. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring and in this moment I am whole and happy.

If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much. – Jim Rohn

As I sit here toasting all that went down in 2013, I keep asking myself…if the life I’m creating by the choices I’m making propelling me towards my best self? I think I stuck to the Manifesto I created for 2013. I walked in Truth and now my heart is bigger, busted wide open and ready even more Love. I am a better version of me and I truly love the woman I am growing into. As I think about those choices that led me to this moment and with a full heart, I set my intention for MORE in 2014. I want:

More of what counts.

More of what is important to me. The people I love. I plan to tell them every chance I get. Starting with the family lime we usually have on New Year’s Day. I am so lucky to still have the chance to tell them.

More Writing.

After writing inconsistently for most of the year because I’m lazy for all kinds of reasons, I finally turned things around by successfully completing this month’s NaBloPoMo challenge. I am proud to say I wrote/posted in this space every day for December. *throws confetti* Thank you for reading!

More Travel.

This year I visited New York City, D.C., Virginia, Grenada and St Vincent. I have been bitten by the travel bug hard. I am craving new experiences. So next year, I plan to go much further, I already have four trips planned and I am super excited about them!

More time with my Cohort of Awesome.

I haven’t been very good at keep in touch with my family and friends who live afar…this is anybody who does not live in my neighbourhood. I know, I know! Thankfully my sister and brother live within a few blocks of me. My sister is the family whisperer though. She knows everything that’s happening with everybody. While I don’t think I can get to her level of social prowess, in 2014 I plan to do better than I’ve done this year. These are the people who make this journey of mine worthwhile. I need to make sure they know I appreciate them.

More self-care.

You know how when you fly on an airplane, the flight attendant instructs you to put your oxygen mask on first, before helping others? Do you know why this is an important rule for ensuring survival? You put on your oxygen mask first, because if you run out of oxygen, you can’t help anyone else with their mask. I had a massage last week and when the masseuse got to my shoulders and neck we both could feel the knots. It was p a i n f u l. She immediately said to me that this is my health I’m playing with. Why was I carrying so much stress? If something happens to me…because I allowed stress to make me sick, guess what…I can’t help anybody and life will go on without me. I CHOOSE to be here to celebrate life in 2014. Bring on those massages!

The biggest lesson I’ve learned this year is that Happiness is not a destination, it’s a journey and it’s one that you begin from within. It is simply doing the things every single day that move you closer to your best possible self.

Happy New Year to all of you. I wish you only the best.

Light & Love.

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I’m participating in BlogHer’s NaBloPoMo Challenge for the month of December:

NaBloPoMo_MoreLess

You can read some awesome entries here: NaBloPoMo December

Happy Birthday to me!

Thank You, God, for giving me another year of life.
Thank You for all the people who remembered me today
by sending emails, and text/bb messages, gifts and good wishes.

Thank You for all the experiences of this past year;
for times of success which will always be happy memories,
for times of failure the lessons which reminded me of my own weakness and of my need for You,
for times of joy when the sun was shining,
for times of sadness which drove me to You.

Forgive me
for the hours I wasted,
for the chances I failed to take,
for the opportunities I missed this past year.
Help me in the days ahead to make this the best year yet,
and through it to draw to myself light and love,
bring happiness and pride to my cohort of awesome,
and joy to You.

Amen.

Auntie Up: Tears of joy!

I don’t know why this post didn’t shoot off when it was supposed to, but this is my entry for the Daily Prompt: Tears of Joy

I am a crier.

I cry for lots of things. If it’s the right time of the month, I will cry over an advertisement on TV even.

However, the only people who know this are those closest to me…and well now those of you reading this.

I have been called a bitch…the more politically correct among those who speak about me without truly knowing me would say I’m unapproachable or intimidating.

That said, I admit it: I have a hard exterior or rather I give the impression that I have a hard exterior.

I also have a very soft underbelly.

So imagine, the last day of the 2012, I’m already thinking about the promise of the New Year and my phone rings. It’s my brother.

Maurice: You’re going to be an Auntie next year.
Me: What??? *drops phone* *struggle ensues* *finally gets phone in hand*
Me: WHAT???
Maurice: Yea, we just came from the Doctor’s office and you’re going to be an Auntie next year.
Me: Oh my gosh *immediately starts blubbering* I’m so happy. I’m so happy for you. WOW!

These were my first truly happy tears.

When he told me they heard the heartbeat folks, the rush of love I felt for that little heartbeat is unlike any love I’ve felt before. I cannot wait to meet my little nephew (*fingers crossed* this will be confirmed next week and
I’ll say this here, my brother has been calling the bump “Cupcake” and I take umbrage on behalf of my unborn nephew.)

When I think about him even now…I get a lump in my throat for the blessing of his presence. He is truly a gift and one I will cherish. I have three godsons, I love them all. But this love I feel…oh my word! Makes me think about my own future son and I understand a little bit now the commitment of unconditional love. It just is. Imagine the rainstorm when I finally meet him…

When my nephew reads this someday, I want him to know that even before I knew him…I loved him.

It was the absolute best way to end 2012 and the perfect start to 2013.

Aunties to be!!!

Aunties to be!!!

You're all off the hook!

“Tell everyone you know: “My happiness depends on me, so you’re off the hook.” And then demonstrate it. Be happy, no matter what they’re doing. Practice feeling good, no matter what. And before you know it, you will not give anyone else responsibility for the way you feel-and then, you’ll love them all. Because the only reason you don’t love them, is because you’re using them as your excuse to not feel good.” – Esther Hicks

Last evening, I found myself hanging out at a bar and wishing with all my heart that I’d said no and headed home instead. The whole time I was sitting on that bar stool I kept asking myself why, if I knew I wasnt feeling 100, did I still agree to come? I couldn’t blame anyone but myself for my unhappiness and discomfort. I felt tortured by the whole scene, all the conversations going on around me felt inane and boring. I wanted to blame the other people in the lime for my predicament, but the only reason I was there was because I said yes. In my frustration I alienated everyone in the lime that I agreed to like it was somehow their fault that I had made this stupid decision.

How many times have you found yourself in a situation that does not make you happy and you take your frustration with yourself out on the people around you? For me, its more times than I deserve forgiveness for. I’m a work in progress.

I didn’t like that person who wanted to make everyone feel bad because I wasnt feeling well. It was unfair. So I’ve decided that since I am solely responsible for my happiness, I should have a few rules to live by, so that when I’m on “2 minds” about something, I will refer to them for guidance. I was going for ten, but let’s be real here, I’m not going to remember ten rules. So this is what I came up with for living my best life:

1. I am responsible for my happiness, NO ONE ELSE IS.

2. Always remember Rule #1.

Those are my rules, pretty simple huh?! I thought so too and I can definitely remember them, even when I want to be mad at the whole wide world. Yes, I am allowed to feel pain, sadness, anger, fear, panic and disappointment since they are a part of life. I believe we have to feel it to heal it, so feeling the negative emotions helps the moving on process. But I am not allowed to wallow. Happiness is not a destination, it is a decision and the time is always now, now is the time to choose happiness.

Thankfully, I’ve learned over the years what makes me happy:

    Drinking more water, my body thanks me when I do.
    Doing more spin and yoga. Whenever I do a spin class, I feel like I can take on the world after and well yoga, just makes me feel good period.
    Recently, my drinking green smoothies and trying new recipes are a source of joy that I didn’t think possible.
    Getting more rest. I am always nicer when I’ve had enough sleep.
    More Sex. The in love, committed to each other, you rock my world kinda sex, because that’s the kind I’m happiest having.
    Blogging. I started this blog to share my experiences with my readers and it amazes me every time I realise that people are in fact reading. This has been such a humbling and exhilarating experience all at once.
    Drinking less alcohol. Hangovers get worse with age.
    Forgiving more. Forgiving myself first and then everybody else. We are all carrying burdens and some are heavier than others, I don’t have to make mine any heavier by holding on to crap. This means forgiving him too.
    Praying more, because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
    Taking time to enjoy cassava dumplings and Tiramisu when I can. Because life is short and we’re here to have plenty fun too.
    Enjoying the outdoors, exploring my island and travelling more. Experiencing new things always make for extraordinary moments.
    Yes I have career goals and financial goals and working towards these goals add to my happiness, the little steps I take everyday towards achieving these goals matter the most.
    And when I need a time out from it all, I promise to listen to my body and take care of me.

I am going to cultivate the habits that make me happy everyday. It’s an evolving list as I learn and grow and become the Vernette I was created to be. The great thing about happy is that you can find it where you look for it and when you realise that it’s inside of you, then it makes things a whole lot easier. The happier I am, the more loving I am. The more love I have to give, is the happier I will be.

There is a quote that goes, “The light at the end of the tunnel is not an illusion. The tunnel is.” Don’t wait for “someday” to be happy. Embrace the light, embrace your light and make yourself happy now. The time is and always will be now.

This is one of my favourite places. Every time I’m in Tobago, I make the time to visit. I feel happy and at peace here and my spirit is always renewed. It’s also the scene of one of the last happy times I had with my mother before she died. Do you have a “favourite/happy” spot that renews your spirit too? – photo by Lucy Masters