VernetteOutLoud

I want less…

“Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.” – Albert Einstein

I gave my microwave to a close friend who was moving into her first apartment a few months ago. Instead of replacing it, I got a toaster oven instead. What would have taken 2 minutes in the microwave now takes 15 minutes…and I couldn’t be happier. We live in an instant gratification” age and the fact that I have to spend a little time waiting for something to toast or warm up is teaching me patience. In 2014 I want less haste.

My apartment is just the right size for me. I have just enough space to teach me the difference between wants and needs. I am learning to only buy/keep only the things that bring me pleasure and to say no to the non-essentials. In 2014 I want less of the unnecessary.

On vacation in October, I had chocolate cake and it made me sick. I threw up every last bite. It definitely didn’t taste as good the second time around. I had no choice but to finally admit it to myself…chocolate makes me sick. Yes…sometimes all the world’s problems can be solved with a piece of dark chocolate…but it’s not worth the migraines and nausea anymore. I need to find a less painful way to solve the world’s problems. In 2014 I want less chocolate and sugar.

I was at a wedding on Saturday. It was the union of two young people I grew up with. The ceremony was held in the church we all grew up in. The church I stopped going to after mummy died…because it held too many memories. Since her funeral, my sister and brother got married there, we also had Luke’s farewell Mass there as well. It’s a mixture of happy and sad. But something happened to me during the wedding ceremony of my friends. The church felt like home. And I missed the community. I want a church community where everybody knows my name… In 2014 I want less just-a-face-in-the-crowd kinda worship.

“The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.” – Socrates

As 2013 is slips away, what would you like less of in 2014?

_________________________________________________________

I’m participating in BlogHer’s NaBloPoMo Challenge for the month of December:

NaBloPoMo_MoreLess

You can read some awesome entries here: NaBloPoMo December

Keeping it real

Paulo Coelho

I straddle the line of how much is too much of me, to let the world see…however, as I come to the end of my year of “Truth” I might as well just put it all out there. Right?

Today’s prompt asks: Do you give people more than what they ask for, or do you leave them wanting more? And I had a major AHA-moment thinking about this prompt today. Truth is I think I give more than what people ask for or expect because it’s a form of control.

. Giving is a form of power. But letting in Love, letting in abundance, letting in all the things I truly want is scary because I could risk getting hurt. – Mastin Kipp, The Daily Love

Hi. My name is Vernette and I’m a control freak.

Giving is so much easier than receiving. I will give you my time, love and attention (which to me is one and the same, after all Time spelt another way is Love)…because this I can control. But when it comes to me allowing you to “give” same…I have a hard time with this. “You” giving to me is out of my control. “You” being anybody in my inner and outer circle. I don’t know what to do with this sometimes and it usually leaves me lonely and sad because I feel like I’m not being seen. But sometimes I just don’t know how to articulate what I need. This is funny because I can write and write and write some more about it. But to say the words out loud…whole other story.

You know it’s as basic as not being able to receive a simple compliment and just say “thank you”. I observed this today. My co-workers were still on the company Christmas Dinner high and people said nice things about how I looked on the night and not once did I respond with a simple “thank you.” Not once. I deflected each compliment away from myself. Because the sick thing is…even though I know I looked damn good (yes…I’m saying it myself) it was easier to give them a compliment instead, rather than allow them in enough to “give” to me.

I should be on a therapist couch somewhere…

Anyhoo, I’ve been keeping up with the daily blogging but I have wondered about the quality of posts over the course of the month. I wonder if at the end of this journey I’ll feel like architect Ludwig Mies van der Rohe and say, “Less is more”.

Am I boring you yet?<— she asks after just dedicating a post to NOT allowing people in.

_________________________________________________________

I’m participating in BlogHer’s NaBloPoMo Challenge for the month of December:

NaBloPoMo_MoreLess

You can read some awesome entries here: NaBloPoMo December.

My hours

We all get the same 24 hours in a day. No more, no less. If you’re like me, you spend 5-6 hours sleeping…on a good night. That leaves 18 hours. Then I spend 8-9 hours working on my employer’s dream. I got 9 hours left. My commute to and from work is roughly an hour. I’m now down to 8. By the time I shower/play Bejeweled Blitz on Facebook/check Twitter/read blogs/respond to emails/eat/study/write my own blog/work on my side hustle…tomorrow has arrived. And it’s time to do it all over again.

For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

I refuse to spend even one hour of my day with someone I cannot stand. Life is way too short for that. I truly believe that time is the only real currency we have because we exchange it for everything else in this life. I cannot be fully present to the present if I’m bitching about just how much I can’t stand someone now can I? Besides the less time I spend with people who rub me the wrong way..is the more time I have for the people who matter.

So tell me…how are you using your 24 hours? Are you robbing yourself of even a moment of happiness doing something, spending time with someone…living a life that is not your best life? Or are you living authentically?

_________________________________________________________

I’m participating in BlogHer’s NaBloPoMo Challenge for the month of December:

NaBloPoMo_MoreLess

You can read some awesome entries here: NaBloPoMo December.