Today’s affirmation:

My heart is wounded and my mind is muddled, help me find healing in giving today.

I’m pretty much going through the motions today. I had to be at work on a Saturday, so that does not improve my mood. Big Love is on my mind. The words of this song was all I could think of:

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won’t put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I’m in love and always will be
– Dido

You will see me write this over and over, “BIG love is never easy”. That’s because it is hard to find and when you do…that’s not the end of it, it takes work. HARD WORK! Loving someone is easily the best gift you can give. You can choose to be cynical about it, fear it, underestimate it or you can be open to it and share it with the world. Speaking your true feelings is scary as hell and while it makes you vulnerable, it also empowers you. When you speak your truth, when you walk in the light, there is nothing but love. The downside is when you speak your truth and the person you’re speaking it to is not ready to hear it.

Rejection is not easy. It can leave you questioning everything. It’s hard in the thick of hurting to be conscious to the fact that the rejection is about the other person. Not you. They are preventing love. They have closed themselves off from receiving that which you want to give. They must want it. You cannot love them enough to change. They must do their own work. All you can control is how you deal with you and your emotions. You have to do your own work. Speak your truth always. Love yourself enough and when you are ready for love, it will come.

So I had all this on my mind and really wasnt feeling for company but my sister insisted I come spend some time with her. I decided that will be my gift. Spending time with her, turned into a family get-together at a beach house. Being around my family, reminded me that there is real love in my life. And that’s all that matters really, the love that we do have.