When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?

I remember it clearly.

It was a Tuesday back in June 2010.

My mother, sister and I were returning from what would be one of the last visits to my mother’s Doctor. I was sitting on the back seat of the car, mummy directly in front of me. Trudy was driving.

I was trying my best to keep the tears at bay. But I simply couldn’t.

My mother said, “It’s bad isn’t it?”

And I said… “Yes. But we will get thru it.”

I could have chosen many milestones throughout my “adulthood” but despite age and the decisions I had to make over the years, the decision I made that day was the most adult thing I have ever done.

I was going to be strong for my mother, so she could be strong enough to let go when the time came.

My mother was my first love. It is from her I first learned what unconditional love really meant. Loving someone enough to let them go is hard…letting go of my mother…

Damn.

I still cannot even begin to describe what that took.

The mama & I