VernetteOutLoud

The Shroud of Two Rings

I have been working in my own little bubble for more than 4 years.

It was what I needed at the time.

When my mother died, I needed space. During her decline, there was no room for dealing with my own feelings. So after she died I needed time to process everything I had pushed deep down inside for months.

I was so grateful for the peace and quiet at work. I was in my own space and my supervisor pretty much left me up to my own devices. He really trusted me to work on my own.

I was grateful for this safe haven. Because there was no way I could have faced an office full of people, acting like life goes on, when my world was never going to be the same. I would have lost it. I know that is a luxury that many people don’t have and the fact that I had this haven is something I will be forever grateful for.

So in my own little cocoon I worked.

I started the process of facing what I was feeling and started dealing with my grief.

I went inward.

I healed. Slowly.

This however had an unfortunate side-effect.

The rest of my unit and the wider department formed their own opinions of my “hermit behaviour”. They saw it as me being a bitch or…not liking people. Which if I’m honest is not entirely false. Either opinion that is.

However, I didn’t particularly care what anybody thought.

I worked well. I worked hard.

I worked alone.

But like everything else in this life…ALL THAT IS ABOUT TO CHANGE.

On February 03rd, I will MOVE to a new department. Not only is it going to be on a floor full of people, I will be expected to be team lead in a unit of men.

Funny enough, my One Word for 2014 is MOVE.

However, when I set my intentions for 2014, I expected a move of some sort…but no way did I see this one coming and I am not entirely sure that I am ready. Be careful what you wish for…right!

But guess what, there is a time for everything.

My time for being silent is over.

Now it’s time to be seen and be heard.

It is time to shed The Shroud of Two Rings. Which is the name my supervisor gave my moods. And yes he told me that this is the name he gave the almost impenetrable hard exterior I usually wear to work.

And no, I’m not mad at him.

He has actually been really understanding and patient with me. I will forever be grateful for the space he allowed me to just be me.

The other side of the coin is that this has been my struggle all week: Being truly me and feeling pangs of…will that be enough?

Will my reputation for being a ball-buster help me here? Time will tell.

But for 2014…I’m liking unpredictable endings. So far.

My One Word 2014

HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

This is my second year doing my One Word 365. I gave up making resolutions last year. What’s this all about? You can read more about the movement here. You can also read about the impact my one word:Truth had on my journey through 2013.

Move

My One Word for 2014 iiiisss:
*drum roll please*

MOVE

Walking in truth for 2013 helped me shed the ideas that were no longer propelling me towards my best self.

I’ve already set my intentions for 2014 here and here. Now it’s time to make it happen.

What you do today can improve all your tomorrows. – Ralph Marston

Set Intention.

Take the next simple step forward.

Repeat.

MOVE!

Lord, as I begin a new year, begin something new in my relationship with You. I give my life to You. I need You to move in my heart today. Because I can’t achieve any of this without You. Amen.

I will share the evolution of this journey on the 15th of every month. So stay tuned for my next update on January 15th.

Once again Melanie Moore of the lovely blog Only A Breath is gifting fellow bloggers from her heart. If you want to create an awesome custom image of your One word like the One Word button in my sidebar please click here. A special, special thank you to Melanie for this lovely gift.

Your present circumstances don’t determine
where you can go;
they merely determine where you start.
– Nido Qubein

So folks, in the spirit of clean slates, fresh starts and new beginnings, if you could choose just one word to inspire you for 2014, what would it be?

Brainstorm and please feel free to share it with me in the comments below!

Year of Enough

He told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds come and perch in its branches.” Matthew 13:31-32 New International Version (NIV)

When I think about what “enough” means to me I think about the mustard seed in the parable. This tiny seed, had everything within itself to grow into a tree. So often I get caught up in where I would like to be and why I’m not quite there yet. Then I get down on myself when I think about how far I have yet to go. And I am so afraid of failing. I don’t want to be mediocre but then the gremlin in my head tells me that maybe I am…just a little bit. And I get even more down on myself. Then I remember the mustard seed. That from something so small and insignificant, can grow something so strong and bountiful. And I am reminded that I have everything within myself…in this moment to be everything I want to be. I am enough just as I am.

Like the mustard seed needed sunlight and water to grow…so too do we need help along the way to come into our fullness. That’s why when I read about the Year of Enough I was quick to sign up because remembering that I am enough just as I am is not always easy when times get hard and things are rough. And this challenge seems like a fun way to start 2014.

Sooo You’re Invited to the 2014 “Year of Enough” Kickoff Challenge!

I’m super psyched to take part in the upcoming 2014 Year of Enough Kickoff Challenge Event, hosted by Therese Schwenkler of The Unlost.

About the event: Imagine starting 2014 off with a newfound sense of confidence and a spring in your step that can only come from an internal sense of security, worth, and inherent “enough-ness.” This can be your reality, and the Year of Enough Kickoff Challenge exists to help you do just that.

This worldwide FREE streaming virtual event — sent straight to your inbox every day in January — gathers 23 of the wisest, kindest souls on the interwebs for daily heartfelt conversations on what it means to be enough, have enough, and come from a place of sufficiency and worth in a world of “never enough” + 23 daily challenges that will help you foster a sense of “enough-ness” in your own life.

Date: Every weekday in January

Price: FREE

Where: Sign up here

YoEBanner2-small

I don’t know about you…but I really am EXCITED for 2014. I’m so ready for a fresh start, a new beginning…will you join me?

Quote me

I am a quote junkie. I collect them. I print them and put them in places I can see them every day so that they can inspire me all the time.

Today’s Daily Prompt: Quote me is an opportunity to share with you a new favourite of mine.

Do you remember when you were a kid and could not wait to grow up? You longed to be a whole hand, then a teenager…finally 18 and then you got to 21 and realised…wait I don’t “feel” any different?!

It hits you somewhere around this time in your life that “growing up” really has little to do with age!

Photo by: V Superville

Photo by: V Superville

When I first saw this quote it resonated with me because I am at a stage in my life where I am growing and stretching and evolving and it’s SCARY!

It is scary to let go of the past, to move beyond familiar things and to identify and change behaviours that no longer align with the me I want to be.

I like being reminded that living takes courage.

Living out loud, takes a hell of a lot of courage.

Becoming the “me”…or rather evolving into the me
that I was created to be…takes courage.

I like knowing that I have that courage.

I will…

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

As 2012 draws to a close and I look to the bright future of 2013 so pregnant with promise, I want to take a moment and say THANK YOU to all those who found my blog, stayed a minute, shared their thoughts and allowed me to share my light and love with them. Thank you for being a part of my wondrous journey.

My 2013 Manifesto

My 2013 Manifesto

In this New Year:

I will expect miracles.

I will LOVE. MORE.

I will LOVE. Hard.

I will laugh.

I will forgive.

I will walk, speak and live my truth.

I will cry when I need to.

I will make mistakes.

I will fail. A lot.

I will try. Again.

I will try. Harder.

I will sign my own permission slip.

I will experiment.

I will define my own success.

I will push past my comfort boundaries.

I will share my light.

I will live.

I WILL!


Always bear in mind that your own resolution to
succeed is more important than any other.
– Abraham Lincoln

Again, thank you for ALL your support this past year
and here’s to wishing you
light and happiness
in 2013!
Cheers.

LOVE LOVE LOVE