VernetteOutLoud

"But you’re not homeless" & Other eye-openers

I almost said, “But you’re not homeless!” as I held unto the food with both hands staring with some consternation at the well dressed guy standing in front of me.

He earnestly said, “You’re giving out food right? Well I’m hungry, I haven’t eaten all day.” Immediately I handed over the meal and was instantly apologetic.

In my mind, the homeless and hungry had to be dirty, in torn clothing, most probably crazy. Not this clean man, in clean clothes and of apparently sound mind. You see, I was doing a personal thanksgiving for all the blessings I have been receiving by distributing 30 meals I prepared, to the homeless in the city where I worked.

While we were driving around Woodford Square, which is a park in the down town area, looking for parking, I said to my brother-in-law, I don’t think these people are homeless, we’ll have to look elsewhere. I spied one guy who fit my mental description of a homeless person and he was the one I was homing in on when I was swamped by MOST of the people sitting in the square.

It was then, looking with new eyes, I saw the bags of what appeared to be belongings on top of the various tables they were sitting at. I looked a little closer at the faces and they were gaunt, up close, their clothes though clean were not in the best condition. They were all grateful for the meal.

I, on the other hand felt two things.

I was happy that I was able to distribute all the meals and I was ashamed that I thought I knew what poverty/homelessness looked like. Yes, it might look dirty and unkempt, smelly and crazy. But it can also appear clean, well-dressed, well-mannered and educated. This thanksgiving has taught me so much about myself. I underestimated the amount of work involved because I was happy thinking about the result and I wanted to OWN the result all by myself, completely ignoring the process and the hard work it would take to get there. What was supposed to be a lunchtime meal, turned into dinner, since I was only able to distribute by 4:00 p.m. I suppose it was the perfect time and I shouldn’t worry too much it, but had I accepted the help offered in getting the meal together, I might have been able to stick to my goal of a lunchtime meal. There was a part of me that wanted all the credit for this. I can see that now.

I had this mental picture of what a homeless person should look like, and you should know as well, that even though I use the word homeless, in my mind that translates to poor person. I am guilty of stereotyping. Thing is, I only realized what my true thoughts were, in that moment when that guy walked up to me.

This got me thinking about what poverty truly looks like.

Yes, if you called to mind what you thought a poor person looks like right now, that would be correct in most cases. But poverty is also, the “well-dressed” person sitting in a square, with other well-dressed people, who all had nothing to eat for the day.

There is a thought that poverty is for the lazy. I know I had a vision of what a homeless person looks like. So it would be correct to think that there are people who also suppose, that people are poor because they want to be. Poverty is complicated. I am not disputing the fact that there are some truly lazy “hard-back” men and women who refuse to work and are willing to live off of the sweat of others. Yes there are those who beg, because they can. But not everybody is out to scam the system. There are people with full-time jobs who still cannot achieve the most basic standard of living. Imagine for those with part-time employment.

I see the desolation of it everyday, because the homeless/poor frequent the downtown area where I work. But what about the poor with homes? And that for me is the alarming part. This is poverty that is hidden. My life would have been very different if my mother didn’t rise above the many challenges she faced as a single parent. This is why I was shocked at myself for having stereotyped the homeless. I should have known better.

Can poverty, a problem as complex as it is, ever be solved? How can we help? Solutions are possible. But we must first have a government serious about reducing poverty and homelessness; throwing money at a problem is not always a cure, sometimes it’s just a band-aid. The rest of us must care enough to act together to achieve a better community.

Day 28 – Breakfast for a Cause

Breaking those chains with LOVE

Today’s Affirmation

Today I give as freely as I can.

Today’s affirmation wasnt very creative because today my country celebrates Emancipation Day.

Just a brief history on Emancipation: The Emancipation Bill was presented in Parliament by Thomas Buxton in 1833 and the Act came into effect on August 1, 1834. On August 1, 1985, Trinidad and Tobago became the first country in the world to declare a national holiday to commemorate the abolition of slavery. The Emancipation Support Committee of Trinidad and Tobago was founded 20 years and they have been commemorating Emancipation withe public lectures, trade shows, concerts and presentations.

Some 20 years later what is the relevance of our ESC? They are still begging the government for money to the tune of $7 million, so what is their relevance if they cannot be self-sufficient or garner more corporate support or support from the general public? Which begs the question, what does Emancipation mean for the average Trinidadian?

Emancipation Day for me, is usually a time of reflection coming so close after my birthday. I’m usually still in introspection mode so I’m always mindful of the areas in my life where I’m not truly free. Financial freedom remains somewhat elusive, as is the freedom to do the work that makes me truly happy and the freedom to express my true self without fear of who that Vernette is.

Today was no different. Five more months left in the year and I’m re-evaluating where I am and what needs to be done to get me there. Now is as good a time as any to start on some goals, just in time too, as one goal is close to being achieved. Today marks the penultimate day of my 29-Gift journey.

This has been an exercise in freeing my mind and thoughts on what giving truly entails. The most satisfying of my gifts were the intangible ones, the gifts that required I give of myself and my time rather than something material. Today’s gift, was patronizing an Emancipation Breakfast put on by a group of ladies raising funds for the Cyril Ross Nursery. I will admit, the only reason I took the ticket initially, which was given to me before I started my 29-Day journey, was because the Nursery is important in maintaining the health of the thirty-five children in their care ensuring that they get the best attention and Antiretroviral medication, which they must take.

Freedom means something totally different to these children. Looking at this breakfast fundraiser 29 days later, through different eyes, I decided to give a small donation along with the cost of the ticket. For me, this is not about the money but what this money means in the context of the best care for these children. That’s the intangible stuff I’m talking about. I will never know how far my donation will go towards helping the Nursery make the lives of these children just a little bit easier and that for me cannot be measured.

Calm before the STORM

Who’s it gonna be?

Bemused. That’s how I feel.

Merriam-Webster defines the word bemused as 1. to make confused : puzzle, bewilder; 2. to occupy the attention of : distract, absorb; 3. to cause to have feelings of wry or tolerant amusement.

Bemused is the word I would use to describe the way Former Commissioner of Police Dwayne Gibbs and Deputy Commissioner of Police Jack Ewatski viewed Trinibagonians for the last two years.

When you have to work with a Yes-Man like Former National Security Minister John Sandy who appeared to have no balls when it came to our PM and now the new Sheriff in town Jack Warner who is still unclear as to what Ministry he is really in charge of, how can you be productive? From the time a State of Emergency was called last year and these two men were not even in the country when it happened and worse, appeared to have only known about it AFTER the fact…allyuh shoulda know who was really running the show.

How can you implement any initiative or improve our police force when we have a PP Government more interested in the “appearance” of reducing crime, rather than actually reducing crime. Underperformance by Gibbs and Ewatski? Look a lil further trinis.

Who is Accountable? Take our PM to task, she is after all, head of the National Security Council. If this PP Government was SERIOUS about reducing crime in this country, their first order of business in a comprehensive crime plan would be to remove Jack Warner as National Security Minister. He is absolutely unfit to be in that position which requires a leader of integrity, capable of justice and honesty. The disclosure of the latest incriminating evidence of Warner’s shady dealings with Bin Hammam, as was reported by a PricewaterhouseCoopers audit should have been cause for enough concern for the PM to act in the best interest of Trinidad and Tobago.

I feel insulted by Kamla Persad-Bissessar who asks for the nation’s support of this man in the face of these damning findings and continues to show her support of him by endorsing him as a member of her Cabinet. There is sufficient evidence that this man is unfit for public office. He has indulged in improper and unethical behaviour and this is not the first time. Have the footballers gotten their money yet?

Or is it that the new crime plan is “bandit to ketch bandit”?

So allyuh, it comes as no surprise to me that Gibbs and Ewatski have tendered their resignations which takes effect on August 7, because I find they take long. They damn right to leave this country at this time. The do-do about to hit the fan and I hope allyuh ready to “do so” when the time comes.

How long Jack in office and his crime plan is still non-existent? Allyuh Wait for it…it coming. Because now we will get Dep CoP Stephen Williams, who is tipped to replace Gibbs. And what exactly allyuh think will happen?? Nothing stopping SOE like measures now: removal or breaching of our constitutional rights, shows of brute force, sudden raids all in the appearance of “we wukking” and “allyuh want crime down, take dat”.

As Kamla Persad-Bissessar said last night in her address to the nation, “No measure will be spared against those who seek to terrorise and brutalize our elderly folk, our women, our children and our men. The national outrage has reached a stage where everyone agrees that stronger and more aggressive initiatives are required.”

My advice: Stock up on canned foods and bottled water. The storm coming.