Five Minute Friday: Visit

Folks I feel like I have truly found my tribe. I’m linking up again this week with the fabulous Lisa-Jo Baker and the lovely writers of Five Minute Friday. Click on the button below for more details on what this challenge is all about and how you can participate.

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GO

When my uncle’s wife was dying in the hospital, I went to see her. I knew it was going to be hard but I felt that it was something I needed to do. Because my experience with my mother and hospitals taught me that no matter how hard it might be for you to see someone in a hospital bed…you’re not the one in the hospital. So suck it up and go.

So I went with my sister to see her. It was actually a few weeks from my sister’s wedding and my aunt started talking about the wedding. She told my sister that she didn’t think she would make it to the wedding and then she started saying her goodbyes and I lost it. It was exactly what I was afraid was going to happen.

Where did this come from though? Hmmm, I am realizing that for me the word visit is associated with hospitals and sickness and sadness.

I never describe catching-up with a friend as “visiting”. I might say, I went to check so and so or I had a small lime with this one or we had dinner.

I never use visit.

STOP

World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War

The end is near...

The end is near…

My rating* – 5

“The end was near.” -Voices from the Zombie War

The Zombie War came unthinkably close to eradicating humanity. Max Brooks, driven by the urgency of preserving the acid-etched first-hand experiences of the survivors from those apocalyptic years, traveled across the United States of America and throughout the world, from decimated cities that once teemed with upwards of thirty million souls to the most remote and inhospitable areas of the planet. He recorded the testimony of men, women, and sometimes children who came face-to-face with the living, or at least the undead, hell of that dreadful time. World War Z is the result. Never before have we had access to a document that so powerfully conveys the depth of fear and horror, and also the ineradicable spirit of resistance, that gripped human society through the plague years.

Ranging from the now infamous village of New Dachang in the United Federation of China, where the epidemiological trail began with the twelve-year-old Patient Zero, to the unnamed northern forests where untold numbers sought a terrible and temporary refuge in the cold, to the United States of Southern Africa, where the Redeker Plan provided hope for humanity at an unspeakable price, to the west-of-the-Rockies redoubt where the North American tide finally started to turn, this invaluable chronicle reflects the full scope and duration of the Zombie War.

Most of all, the book captures with haunting immediacy the human dimension of this epochal event. Facing the often raw and vivid nature of these personal accounts requires a degree of courage on the part of the reader, but the effort is invaluable because, as Mr. Brooks says in his introduction, “By excluding the human factor, aren’t we risking the kind of personal detachment from history that may, heaven forbid, lead us one day to repeat it? And in the end, isn’t the human factor the only true difference between us and the enemy we now refer to as ‘the living dead‘?” – Book Description courtesy Amazon.

We had nationwide power outage from a little after midnight until morning on March 29th this year and my first message to my family was “ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!!!” To say I’m intrigued by zombies will be putting it mildly. Ghosts and demons and clowns that live in sewers scare the crap out of me but voracious zombies I’m ok with. Go figure. And while I haven’t seen the movie and I have no particular interest in seeing it either…I simply LOVED the book. Yup, that’s right I gave it a 5 because I LOVED THIS BOOK!

Max Brooks can tell a zombie story! Told documentary style, which I suppose is what an “oral history” would be, Brooks spanned the globe getting Z-War accounts from different people, from different time periods during the war. I was enthralled from “Patient Zero” all the way to the end. It was a hard to put down book. I devoured it…cuz…BRAINS!!! There is a particularly horrifying underwater scene, that stayed with me.

And of course there are people who will argue whether zombies could actually exist or not, all I’m gonna say is when the zombie apocalypse begins, this Trini is gonna be prepared. Here’s a scary-as-eff fun fact for you: Scientists recently found a “zombie bacteria”.

Solanum aint too far behind if you ask me.

Yes, the book lacks a central character to follow or care about, which is the reason I’m not interested in seeing the movie…because what is Pitt’s role really? This is no Night of the Living Dead, or rather The Walking Dead which I am a huge fan of! We’re not following a group of survivors, trying to live in a flesh-eating-zombie world, where the government and society have crumbled and technology is a thing of the past. We get to follow Brooks/UN PostWar Commissioner who in my opinion was the central character in this “documentary” as he focuses on survivors around the world ten years after the war. We find out how technology failed them back then, why governments collapsed and why zombies ate most of the world.

Brooks explores hefty themes like fear, education vs superstition, warfare (the arms and ammunitions described are simply breath-taking), politics and most importantly how we deal with change. There were grave consequences on a worldwide scale because of how change was dealt with. Some of these consequences the world is still dealing with by the end of the book because there are still some places under the control of zombies.

Brooks scores on originality and message and now that I know that we eventually win the Zombie War…I plan to read The Zombie Survival Guide…because I wanna live to blog about it!!!

***UPDATE***
Looks like I wont be seeing the movie after all. This review says it all.

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*my personal quality ratings are the scores I give books on a scale of 0-5 based on my personal opinion of a book. 0 is “birdcage liner” and 5 is “off-the-hook good”

I miss you every day

 Gloria Amelia Superville May 05, 1947 – August 07, 2010 “My soul magnifies the Lord, and my Spirit rejoices in God my Saviour”  Luke 1:46-48

Gloria Amelia Superville
May 05, 1947 – August 07, 2010
“My soul magnifies the Lord, and my Spirit rejoices in God my Saviour”
Luke 1:46-48

Aunty Marilyn called yesterday to say that today will be a beautiful day and that we – Trudy, Maurice and I – are in her heart and prayers. It is a beautiful day. August 7th, three years ago was a Saturday…nice and sunny, just like today. Well it started nice and sunny…it’s raining now and I suppose this fits my mood perfectly. I miss you every day.

Rainy days always make me smile. It was you who encouraged my love for the rain because you loved it too. You never said no, when there was a downpour and we wanted to play/bathe in it…you would join in the game too. Because you were awesome like that. Just so you know the shower right now…would have warranted some hot tea after.

We had a Mass for you this morning and even though I knew the intention was going to be for you, I still felt like I was shot when I heard your name being said. Then I felt that familiar lump in my throat and my eyes filled with tears. I miss you every day.

I thought about Confirmation at Mass and what you said to Trudy and I afterward, that if you didn’t live to see us on our wedding days you knew what we would look like. I wish now that I could go back to that night and hug you just a little tighter. For the record, Trudy had orange beading on her wedding dress…who could have seen that one coming right?

I said to a friend of mine last Saturday that losing your mother is a loss you just don’t get over. It forces you to grow up. And she asked me what does that mean “growing up”? I was tempted to say, “Who feels it knows it” and only then can one understand what that means. But instead, I said that losing you has made me stronger and more vulnerable all at the same time. This was the short, tactful answer.

I close my eyes now and I think about you, I see you always there, encouraging me, listening to me, cheering for me. I see you staying up and with me as I studied; you would say, I may not be able to help but my presence is all that matters, right? And it was. I see you listening, truly listening as I talked about all the things that happened during my day. I see you working hard and making sacrifices and from that I learned the value and difference between needs and wants. Mummy, I miss you being there. One of the hardest things to come to terms with is when I have good news to share, there is no you to call. I always think first about you.

I miss you, every day.

And while most days, I usually keep my grief to myself, not today. Today I will not hide.

I miss you mummy every day.

Somehow though, I feel closer to you now. I understand things about you that I didn’t or probably couldn’t before because there was no “space” to think about those things. You filled that space. Now that you’re gone, I can see your influence and tenderness in my life more than ever…the good things, they remain. I am grateful for your love because it is that which continues to bless, comfort and encourage me.

I miss you mummy. EVERY DAY.

Devastated

I am devastated.

The little person I have loved since the first moment I knew of his existence and was so excited to meet and prayed for and waited 29 weeks in joyful hope for, was born and returned to God just after 9:00 p.m. on Monday 10th June, 2013.

When my brother called to say that my sister-in-law was in labour, my sister and I wasted no time getting to the hospital. I remember our excited conversation on the car ride there. We went through the gamut of emotions as we waited with his grandparents, excitement, wonder and just plain happiness for our family. FINALLY! It was happening.

Then heartbroken when we heard the news, ‘Baby didn’t make it.’

We removed the baby bag we had with us then. The bag filled with items so lovingly bought for him. Then we waited patiently to meet him.

He was small, just over two pounds. He had a full head of hair. ‘Ten fingers, ten toes and one nose’ as my sister lovingly said. He looked like my brother. He was perfect. We held him. We prayed. We cried. We took photos and we have his footprints…treasures that will be forever cherished.

All week, I have been waking up having to remind myself that yes, it did happen. And the sad thing is I am his aunt. I cannot begin to imagine what my sister-in-law is feeling.

I remember my cousins and I were liming a few months ago and we were all talking about whether we wanted a boy or a girl, as if we had a say…I wanted a nephew. I remember saying I wanted a nephew because my brother is a good man and he is going to be an even better Dad and I wanted my kids to have an older cousin who would be loving towards them the way I know my brother will raise his sons to be. I remember saying we need more men like my brother in our family.

I mourn for the chance to shower this child with all the love I still have overflowing for him. When we say goodbye, it will be more than just that final funeral goodbye. It will be goodbye to the adventure of watching him grow, feeding him, telling him about his grandmother and the ‘sweet’ names we imagine she would have called him. Goodbye to the toddler, teenager, big brother, loving cousin and adult we imagined him to grow up be over the last 29 weeks. We will say goodbye to the potential of this baby boy so loved by all of us.

I am so proud of my brother and sister-in-law. Throughout all of this, they have maintained that God is in charge. And while I needed a minute or 10 to be angry at God and ask Him why everything in our lives must be so hard, losing mummy and now Luke…I know He understands my anger and sadness.

I know we cannot change what has happened. I trust that God is in charge and while I may not understand why this has happened now, I will accept it…eventually.

John Green said, “A short life can be a good life.” I now understand this on a whole new level.

Luke has left us with a great legacy: our love for each other has only grown stronger, he has brought our family closer together, having him be part of our journey for the short time that we did, put things in perspective for us; we all know what is really important.

We will speak about Luke. We will tell our future children about him. We will continue to love him, because he was real and he will always be part of our family.

Red Circle Days

book cover

Red Circle Days
by Leah Vidal

My rating* – 5

There are moments in our lives that are imprinted into our very soul. Moments that don’t require a photo album or memory book for us to revisit them time and time again. Some may bring to life the very feelings of sheer happiness they brought the day we experienced them. Others bring the heart wrenching sorrow we spend years trying to erase.

These are moments that don’t need a reminder or a red circle on a calendar date, our hearts wrapping around them much like the tiny box on a calendar, keeping them contained only to bring them to the surface each year. Red Circle Days is a collection of those moments that I will forever carry with me, thought-provoking moments and stories which have left an indelible imprint on my very soul. – Book Description courtesy Amazon

When Stephanie over at When Crazy Meets Exhaustion wrote her review on Red Circle Days I knew it was a book I wanted to read…and soon.

So said, so done. I downloaded it in a matter of days.

As promised, this book was a thought-provoking, quick read and I know I will be going back to some of my favourite chapters often. Leah shares with us, moments in time throughout her life, in a series of short essays. With themes like, Family, Love, Coming of Age, Friendship and Death of loved ones these essays are intensely personal, but are common to all of us. This was something I really loved about this book. The fact that through her stories, I could relate them to my own life and some of the experiences I have had along the way was awesome!

My favourite chapter was “All grown up”; Leah shared the moment she knew she had stepped through the gateway to adulthood. Her story hit close to home for me. My mom was dying of Ovarian Cancer and despite my cousin’s urging me to maybe consider a hospice, I knew where she would want to be when that time came and I was determined so fulfill that wish.

In “Counting blessings, counting sheep..” she shares how a moment of desperation resulted in a serendipitous discovery in the blessings department. It is a definite must read! And hey…the lady likes Walking Dead – gotta love her!

At the end of each chapter, she poses a question for the reader to consider. Thinking about those questions and coming up with answers was like a walk down memory lane and this made the book even more special to me. I definitely want my Book Club to read and discuss this gem of a book. I want everyone I know to read it. We all have our own red circle days and I thank Leah for this poignant reminder that it is good for the soul to remember and celebrate them. Always.

Leah blogs over at Little Miss Wordy go check her out!

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*my personal quality ratings are the scores I give books on a scale of 0-5 based on my personal opinion of a book. 0 is “birdcage liner” and 5 is “off-the-hook good”