VernetteOutLoud

Day 29 – Sometimes simple is best

Today’s affirmation:

Today, I come to the end of this journey, help me make today’s gift count!

Has it been 29 days already? When I first started this journey, 29 days seemed like a long time, but here I am on Day 29 and I’m surprised at how fast the time went. I really wanted today’s gift to be something grand, something WOW to truly end this journey in style. The universe had other plans.

Today’s gift was simple. A friend of mine needed a listening ear and some advice. That was it. I will end this journey with some reminders on just how simple life can really be.

Life is not complex. We are complex. Life is simple, and the simple thing is the right thing. — Oscar Wilde

Why complicate life?
Missing somebody?…Call
Wanna meet up?…Invite
Wanna be understood?…Explain
Have questions?…Ask
Don’t like something?…Say it
Like something?…State it
Want something?…Ask for it
Love someone?…Tell it
People aren’t mind readers and we won’t live forever.
– Anon

Day 28 – Breakfast for a Cause

Breaking those chains with LOVE

Today’s Affirmation

Today I give as freely as I can.

Today’s affirmation wasnt very creative because today my country celebrates Emancipation Day.

Just a brief history on Emancipation: The Emancipation Bill was presented in Parliament by Thomas Buxton in 1833 and the Act came into effect on August 1, 1834. On August 1, 1985, Trinidad and Tobago became the first country in the world to declare a national holiday to commemorate the abolition of slavery. The Emancipation Support Committee of Trinidad and Tobago was founded 20 years and they have been commemorating Emancipation withe public lectures, trade shows, concerts and presentations.

Some 20 years later what is the relevance of our ESC? They are still begging the government for money to the tune of $7 million, so what is their relevance if they cannot be self-sufficient or garner more corporate support or support from the general public? Which begs the question, what does Emancipation mean for the average Trinidadian?

Emancipation Day for me, is usually a time of reflection coming so close after my birthday. I’m usually still in introspection mode so I’m always mindful of the areas in my life where I’m not truly free. Financial freedom remains somewhat elusive, as is the freedom to do the work that makes me truly happy and the freedom to express my true self without fear of who that Vernette is.

Today was no different. Five more months left in the year and I’m re-evaluating where I am and what needs to be done to get me there. Now is as good a time as any to start on some goals, just in time too, as one goal is close to being achieved. Today marks the penultimate day of my 29-Gift journey.

This has been an exercise in freeing my mind and thoughts on what giving truly entails. The most satisfying of my gifts were the intangible ones, the gifts that required I give of myself and my time rather than something material. Today’s gift, was patronizing an Emancipation Breakfast put on by a group of ladies raising funds for the Cyril Ross Nursery. I will admit, the only reason I took the ticket initially, which was given to me before I started my 29-Day journey, was because the Nursery is important in maintaining the health of the thirty-five children in their care ensuring that they get the best attention and Antiretroviral medication, which they must take.

Freedom means something totally different to these children. Looking at this breakfast fundraiser 29 days later, through different eyes, I decided to give a small donation along with the cost of the ticket. For me, this is not about the money but what this money means in the context of the best care for these children. That’s the intangible stuff I’m talking about. I will never know how far my donation will go towards helping the Nursery make the lives of these children just a little bit easier and that for me cannot be measured.

Day 27 – Moving in the direction of my heart

Time to turn on your heart light.

Today’s Affirmation:

Today I give in the direction of my heart.

‘Cheshire Puss … Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?’ asked Alice.
‘That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,’ said the Cat.
`I don’t much care where–‘ said Alice.
`Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,’ said the Cat.
–from Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

It’s the day after my birthday and today I plan. What is this New Year of life going to be like? What new things am I going to accomplish? Looking back on the last year of my life, I was most happy when I was doing things that made my heart sing. Planning events, seeing them come to fruition, pleasing my customers all set my heart on fire. Unlike Alice, who wasn’t sure where she wanted to go, thus it didn’t matter where she went or which path she took to get there, I am going in the direction of my heart. That is going to be my focus this year, doing more of the things that make my heart sing.

I love that my birthday falls at the end of July. It’s enough to time look back at the last year of life and the last 6 months of the current year and make any changes necessary to achieve the goals I’ve set for myself. It takes daily focus because as time moves on and things change, because they always do, evaluating my progress and making revisions as I go along is the only way to ensure that I’m on track.

For this New Year I want to focus more on living from my heart and following the path that takes me in the direction of my authentic self. This path may not be the straightest, but it is the one that brings me the most light and love. The thing about paths that zigzag is that they bring with them awesome change through each new opportunity. The trick is not being afraid of change.

Life makes sense when we are centered in our own heart and embrace our own unique journey. Anon

What’s most important to me? My family. My friends. Relationships. I want to focus a little more time and attention on the friendships that mean the most to me, that I’ve let slip, because over time it gets easier not to call or text or email. First step in the direction of this goal: I called a long time friend of mine. I haven’t spoken to her in months but she is really one of those special people I feel blessed to know and want to keep in my life. This was my gift for today.

As for my other goals: making more money, doing more yoga and the like, they will unfold in this space over the course of the next year.

Day 26 – Perfectly Imperfect

Fireworks

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to MEEE!!!

Today’s affirmation:

I give more than I receive today.

It’s my BIRTHDAY!!!!

As much as I love, love, LOVE my birthday, I tend to be hard on myself whenever it comes around. I usually have this idea about how I want everything to be, hoping that it would all be perfect and often times it comes with disappointment. Today, I decided that I wasn’t going to focus on receiving, since this was the source of my unhappiness. I expect things of people and usually without even giving a hint as to what those expectations are, and well because the majority of the human race are not telepathic, I usually don’t get what I expect. So today, none of that. Today I am going to give in every way I can and not focus on the small things.

My sister took me to breakfast and then we went to Mass. It was simply lovely. The Gospel today was the parable of the mustard seed.

“The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all your seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and perch in its branches” (Matt. 13:31-32)

I have heard this gospel many times but this time the priest said something very poignant in his sermon. He said the mustard seed is tiny and as tiny as it is, inside it contains everything for a mighty mustard tree to emerge. Talk about an AHA moment. I am so hard on myself when a new year approaches, always looking back and measuring where I am to where I want to go. Not considering that each step forward is in fact a step forward and that I have everything I need to achieve everything I am going to ever achieve inside of my right now. I was perfectly imperfect just as I am. I say perfectly imperfect because I am pretty good at making mistakes. Like I make them ALOT. But that is how I learn and grow and evolve. My gift to myself today, is permission to be perfectly imperfect, knowing that I am enough just as I am in mustard seed state.
It was the greatest gift I received so far.

“I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you”
Matthew 17:20

Isnt that some strong birthday medicine!

So after Mass, leaving absolutely filled spiritually, I thought I was heading to Lucy’s for our lunch date. Only, my sister and Lucy had a lovely surprise planned for me. But first there was the biggest surprise of them all…

TIRAMISUUUU!!!!

Anyone who knows me, knows just how much I love Tiramisu. I can eat it everyday for the rest of my life and never get tired. And this folks, this turned into my biggest gift of all. I was going to share *gasp* my tiramisu. I really am growing up.

After collecting the dessert, on to my surprise: A lovely day at Maracas beach with my family. I could not have asked for a better day. I didn’t care to. Tomorrow I will think about plans for the new year. Today I’m going to savour the love all around me. Cherish all the people who took time out to wish me a happy day, especially my friend Rowan, who messaged at 12 on the dot. I feel truly blessed to have so much love in my life. I look forward to another year of realising dreams in love.

Happy New Year to me! Light and Love always.

Below are some of my favourite photos taken by Lucy during the day.

Coconut Palms, Maracas Bay

Sunny days…sweeping the clouds away….

Lounging on Maracas Bay

Lounging on Maracas Bay

Me and my Aunty

Me and My oldest Aunty

Singing Happy Birthday and cutting the cake

cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake

Me

I couldn’t contain my self, I was laughing so hard

Sunset, Maracas Bay

Sun setting on a lovely day

Day 25 – Counting my blessings

Today”s Affirmation:

Today I live and walk in truth.

It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else – Erma Bombeck

Today, I am still in turmoil. I feel like I’m back to square one in terms of my emotional progress. Usually, when I feel overwhelmed I either want to be alone or I seek the company of my sister. She is one of my best friends and always gives me the unvarnished truth about my situations. Spending time with her always improves my moods.

I completely unburdened myself to her. I didn’t hold anything back. And there was no judgement. When we walk in truth and light, there is nothing but love. And when we show people who we really are, yes it makes us vulnerable, but it also empowers us. This is who we are and that is all there is. No pretense. Walking in truth, emboldens us in all aspects of our life. Being true and real and showing ourselves as we truly are helps us grow towards an authentic life and that should be the only way we want to live.

Tomorrow is my birthday and I know this adds to my sadness. All this confusion and sadness was impacting on my gift-giving as well. I couldn’t focus on gift giving, when I was thinking only about myself. But the opportunity to give still presented itself. A friend of mine called me up and suggested that we go out for a bit. I decided that this will be my gift. I will take this opportunity to give my time despite how low I was feeling. Turned out being out, being out helped my mood a bit. I am certainly grateful for my sister and the blessing of my friend.