VernetteOutLoud

Dear mummy…

First picture taken of my mother and I right after midnight Mass on New Year's Day 2010. Eight short months later, my mother returned to God.

First photo taken of my mother and I right after midnight Mass on New Year’s Day 2010. Eight short months later, my mother returned to God.


Dear mummy,

Thank you.

In the eyes of a child, their mother is god. You were my first experience with love…with unconditional love. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for loving me so that I can rest in peace in the knowledge that in your eyes…I was enough.

Thank you for introducing me to God and ensuring that I learned the importance of a spiritual practice and experienced a truly deeper experience with unconditional love. It was because of your faith and your love, that I was able to grow and love and exist in the knowledge that there is something…someone greater than I am.

It is that faith, that you nurtured, I hold on to everyday since you’ve been gone. It is this faith that keeps my heart open to share my light with the world and not be bitter and closed off and angry because you’re not here. Yes I still have moments when I see ladies who are much older than you, still here, still alive…they get to have time that you didn’t. It upsets me sometimes. No, it upsets me every time. But, I hold on to the fact that in the time you did have, you lived and you loved. You loved hard. Time very well spent in my eyes.

I miss you everyday. I love you. You are in my heart and prayers.

V.

My 'O' Face

In Loving Memory

It occurred to me when I read today’s daily post prompt that if I fell in the shower or choked on my vomit in my sleep (this would have been two weekends ago though…vodka is a bad bitch) that it would probably be days before anybody knew that I had died or even suspected something was wrong.

I live alone and while I have lots of friends and my family is involved in my life, I am quite independent and I cherish the solitude of home. It’s not unlike me to go a whole weekend home alone, no contact with the outside world. So the first alarm bells would be rung by my office most likely. Or maybe my neighbour. But then I’d have to have bought the farm in the living room and even then it would be because I’d started to smell for them to suspect anything. This is quite possible though, if let’s say I came home after a night of vodka and choked on my vomit on the futon.

If I happen to fall in the shower, it would definitely take a while for anybody to smell notice anything. Not this weekend though, if I had fallen in the shower this morning and died…by tonight someone would have found my body because I have plans for the weekend.

But let’s say it was like last weekend, where I had no plans and just wanted to sleep in and I had fallen in the shower Friday morning, I’d have been dead for probably four, maybe five days before anybody suspected something was amiss. And that somebody would have been the office most likely, wondering if I had abandoned the job or something.

It’s a sad thought but not really because I’d be dead, but it would be a horrible and traumatic way for my family to find out. And my poor landlady. She might have a hard time getting the stench out of the carpet and then the issues with getting the place rented again because Trinis are “superstitious” people…and nobody wants to live in a “dead house”.

Thinking about it some more…quite like the world ending on Dec 21st, four days before Christmas, dying this weekend would be most inconvenient for me unless there are Keurig coffee machines in heaven. Yes. I believe in heaven. And yes. That’s where I’m going when I die. No discussion.

You see, I’ve been lusting after this particular item for months. I have lovingly picked out the coffee mugs I will be drinking those steaming hot creations in and I have also delayed purchasing my Keurig so that it will arrive juste à temps for my Christmas morning breakfast. If I bought it any time before the designated date and it arrived before Christmas, I would use it…because I’m greedy and have no self-control when it comes to shiny new coffee-making gadgets. Soooo in order to keep myself in check, I’ve delayed my purchase. To thine own self be true.

My date for this most-wanted purchase is Tuesday 11th, because after factoring in delivery time, that date ensures my B60 arrives on Friday 21st December and well…you see where I’m going with this right?! The world cannot end on December 21st just like dying this weekend is out of the question.

However, I have no problem talking about death or me dying and if nothing else today’s prompt made me think about what I leave behind for my family to pack up. It also shows me how vulnerable I really am and that I should have some kind of plan in place. So here goes:

    1. Get to know my neighbor. My landlady is probably going to have come through on their side anyway to get into my apartment should something happen because she does not have keys for the locks on the gate to my porch.
    2. Make spare keys and give one to my brother and sister. Give my neighbor their contact numbers as well.
    3. Keep my cell phone close when I’m in the bathroom.
    4. Get rid of all the paper/bills/article clippings I no longer need but hoard because I’m an information hoader because there is no reason to burden anyone with the task of going through them to see what’s important or not.
    5. It would be best to have a fatal shower accident on a Monday or a Tuesday since my body would probably only have two, maybe three days to be found.
    6. I should probably cut back on the vodka on Friday nights…

Oh and as for writing the actual obit…I balked at the idea at first but decided to make it fun, while my fingers, toes and eyes are crossed that life does not imitate art in this case.

Deuces.

p.s. If I had died this weekend though, the one thing in my house I’d like to explain is the bottle of peppermint oil on top of my toilet tank. You see yesterday Awesome Stacy over at one of my favourite blogs, Stacy Makes Cents, posted this list of stocking stuffers and #10 on her list is the reason for the oil. Ladies, it can be a problem when we have to GO in public. Two drops of oil in the bowl solves the uh….smell problem. I used peppermint oil and trust me..it works!

You’re welcome!

Purple Crayon Day

Trinidad & Tobago has 15 public holidays. Yes…we give new meaning to the term “holiday destination”. That said, today’s daily prompt is an opportunity to add yet another holiday to our list – if only in the blogosphere – besides, 15 is an odd number…let’s make it nice and even, and add #16.

Let’s celebrate: Purple Crayon Day!

Date: on a Thursday to be announced.

Colour: Purple…DUHHH!!!

…and BLUEBERRIES will be to this day, what pumpkins are to Halloween and Fall.

What kind of life would you create for yourself, if all it took was a purple crayon and your imagination?

Inspired by the book Harold and the Purple Crayon by Crockett Johnson – one of my absolute favourite books – this holiday is a chance to create a day for yourself that is only limited to what you can imagine.

“One night, after thinking it over for some time, Harold decided to go for a walk in the moonlight.” So begins this gentle story that shows just how far your imagination can take you. Armed only with an oversized purple crayon, young Harold draws himself a landscape full of beauty and excitement. But this is no hare-brained, impulsive flight of fantasy. Cherubic, round-headed Harold conducts his adventure with the utmost prudence, letting his imagination run free, but keeping his wits about him all the while. He takes the necessary purple-crayon precautions: drawing landmarks to ensure he won’t get lost; sketching a boat when he finds himself in deep water; and creating a purple pie picnic when he feels the first pangs of hunger.” – blurb from GoodReads

According to the internets, purple is the color of good judgment. It is the color of people seeking spiritual fulfillment. Also, if you surround yourself with purple you will have peace of mind. The colour purple has been used to symbolize magic and mystery, as well as royalty. No wonder, Harold chose it as his colour of choice!

On this holiday…you create a day that exists in your imagination. I imagine malls and store windows decorated in purple, purple crayons selling out EVERYWHERE. People will organise creative “purple” fund-raisers and picnics. Lovers, will deliver red-wine soaked pears (which I know from experience look purple) and gourmet lavender ice-cream. There will be purple napkins and table cloths for a ratatouille dinner and kids will refuse to eat their purple cauliflower but still want their blueberry pie dessert!

Purple Crayon Day, will be more than the “resolutions” of New Year’s Eve or the introspection of Thanksgiving, it will be an opportunity to look inward and to express outward that which only you can imagine. It can be a small act of taking a moonlight walk around the block with your loved ones or by yourself like Harold or it can be a day filled with mystery comprising several activities. The whole family can get involved and plan a “purple crayon” adventure that everyone can enjoy.

Oh my…I’m so excited thinking about all the things I could do to celebrate Purple Crayon Day, I almost wish this day did exist!!! I’m feeling a Pinterest board “Purple Crayon Inspiration” in the making. Note: I’m seriously considering starting my very own, “Purple Crayon Day” tradition. I think it will be something nice to celebrate with my future children someday.

If “Purple Crayon Day” did exist, how would you celebrate it?