VernetteOutLoud

Day 211

Dear Future Me,

Today you celebrate the most wonderful supercalifragilisticexpialidocious day of the year.

It’s V-DAY!!!

Happy New Year!!!

Happy Tiramisu Day..aaalll Day.

July 30th…the day God blessed this world with your presence. I say this to you every year and I will say it again, you are a present to this world. He chose this time in our history to have you walk this earth and leave your own impressive footprints.

Vernette, you are Love on Day 211 of 2014. You are wiser, more patient with yourself. You know that timing is everything and that nothing happens before its time. And you are okay with that. You trust that the path you are on is the right one for you.

I am so proud of you for continuing to do the work you need to do on yourself. You show up. You learn. You grow. You expand. You choose to be happy. You choose to Love hard. You choose to Love now. You choose to never settle for less than you deserve.

I see you smiling, laughing even as you sit marveling at how far you have come. I see you hopefully exploring and having wine and authentic Tiramisu in Tuscany. You are absolutely in awe.

I see you thinking about and being grateful for all the lessons and experiences that have brought you to this moment in time. I see you toasting the memory of the woman who brought you into this world and who has inspired your quest to be more and to evolve into the woman she helped God create.

I see you happier, more content in this body that has brought you so far. I see you comfortable in your skin beautiful lady. I see you smiling because the past is the past finally. I feel so proud to have become you.

I am so proud of you. Sawubona Vernette.

I see YOU on July 30th 2014.
Your younger, work-in-progress-doing-the-best-she-can-while-keeping-hope-alive self.

Tiramisu

Joan Didion and I could totally be pals…

proustSo I took Vanity Fair’s version of Proust’s questionnaire and guess what…Joan Didion and I should have coffee someday.

Here are my responses:

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

    That extra five minutes just before getting out of bed, where I set my intentions for the day ahead.

2. What is your greatest fear?

    Living a mediocre life…and leeches. SLUGS and LEECHES!!!

3. Which historical figure do you most identify with?

    I’m really stumped here. I cannot think of anyone…right now.

4. Which living person do you most admire?

    Hmmm…I really am stumped here also. I admire a lot of people for a lot of different reasons. ***I would so change this answer to Joan Didion now***

5. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

    I procrastinate a lot. Case in point the time this post is going to be published today…

6. What is the trait you most deplore in others?

    Disloyalty.

7. What is your greatest extravagance?

    Travel. I’ve been bitten hard by the travel bug. And Van Houtte’s Chocolate Raspberry Truffle Coffee K-cups. *stops to make a cuppa*

8. On what occasion do you lie?

    Those “How are you?”…”I’m fine.” occasions.

9. What do you most dislike about your appearance?

    My big forehead. Thankfully, my boobs are kinda big…so there’s that.

10. When and where were you happiest?

    Exploring Manhattan by myself last October, while on vacation.

11. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

    Starting before I’m ready.

12. If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?

    Not being honest with each other. There have been too many family falling-outs because people were not 100% honest.

13. What do you consider your greatest achievement?

    Being able to be strong for my mother when she needed me the most and being strong enough to let her go when she needed me to.

14. If you died and came back as a person or a thing, what do you think it would be?

    A dragon of course. Because…dragons!

15. What is your most treasured possession?

    A pair of earrings my mum always wore. They’re not expensive…the beads probably cost $5 but to me they are priceless. I remember wearing them to the movies one evening and when the lights came on I couldn’t find one side. My sister and I looked EVERYWHERE. We were there still frantically looking when the staff came in the sweep the room. They saw how near-tears I was and they kindly joined in the search. I guess they probably thought I was crazy looking for such a cheap bauble. Anyways we didn’t find it and I left completely broken-hearted. Until I got home and opened the bag with the extra slice of Tiramisu I bought…and found the earring inside. I’ve never worn them out of my apartment since.

16. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

    Seeing the one you love and not being the one they’re with.

17. Who are your heroes in real life?

    My uncle Earl. He’s been married to my aunt for 53 years. He is the father we all know. And my brother. I watched my brother take care of my sister-in-law during her pregnancy and that experience changed my view on men, husbands, fathers and brothers. When he grew up and became a man…I don’t know. But my sister-in-law is blessed with a good man. And yes I’m a biased big sister.

18. What is that you most dislike?

    Hmmm it would be disloyalty. Yes I said that before but disloyalty is like a pebble in my shoe.

19. How would you like to die?

    Old and grey…peacefully in my bed with my loved ones around me.

20. What is your motto?

    Love now.

I read Joan’s book, The Year of Magical Thinking shortly after my mum died. One of my friends gave it to me and that was the time I needed to read it. She’s 79 years old now…but I think she understands this writing business. Joan said that she never understands how she feels about something until she’s written about it.

I write entirely to find out what I’m thinking, what I’m looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear. – Joan Didion

We should so have coffee…or tea…my Keurig makes both.

I was here

Veni, Vidi, Vici

Veni, Vidi, Vici

This is the note I’d leave sewn unto a flag of Trinidad & Tobago. It would be pre-written and sewn on because hey, if I’m exploring the Universe then I would have prepared that Trini flag in advance with the hope and expectation of discovering a new planet. So if I discover anything new and amazing on that planet…you’ll probably have to read about it in my tell-all book when I get back to Earth. Today’s Daily Prompt was actually pretty fun!

V is for…

V is for...

V is for…

    V is for vitality, I have an insatiable lust for living (out loud?).
    E is for excellence, my passion, my drive.
    R is for romp, because we’re here to have as much fun as we can!
    N is for not very nice at times, something I’m working on.
    E is for endurance, no matter the obstacles, I will keep moving toward my goals.
    T is for thankful, blessings flow all around me, I must acknowledge them. Always.
    T is for treasure, I am a child of God. I am His treasure.
    E is for enrich, a quality I strive to cultivate and share because everyone who joins me on this journey, be it for 5 secs or a lifetime, should be touched by my light and my love.

VERNETTE!

My friends call me Verns, Vern…and the ever popular Vee. The one I miss the most is the version my mother used: Vernaville. Boy she loved a “sweet name” for us.

My namesake was a highschool friend of one of my aunts and my mother always liked the name. The runner-up was Tanya. I used to look at myself in the mirror growing up and wondered about being a Tanya. It rolled off the tongue quite nicely….so nicely that it was the “fake” name I gave out to guys I didn’t care to know beyond the introduction. But fake names aside, I always came back to the thought that if I had to choose any name, I would always choose Vernette.

It’s uncommon. It’s rare. It means bearer of victory. See…it’s anything but ordinary…just like me.

So…there you have it. I really enjoyed today’s writing prompt. Please click on this link to read some really cool entries.

Auntie Up: Tears of joy!

I don’t know why this post didn’t shoot off when it was supposed to, but this is my entry for the Daily Prompt: Tears of Joy

I am a crier.

I cry for lots of things. If it’s the right time of the month, I will cry over an advertisement on TV even.

However, the only people who know this are those closest to me…and well now those of you reading this.

I have been called a bitch…the more politically correct among those who speak about me without truly knowing me would say I’m unapproachable or intimidating.

That said, I admit it: I have a hard exterior or rather I give the impression that I have a hard exterior.

I also have a very soft underbelly.

So imagine, the last day of the 2012, I’m already thinking about the promise of the New Year and my phone rings. It’s my brother.

Maurice: You’re going to be an Auntie next year.
Me: What??? *drops phone* *struggle ensues* *finally gets phone in hand*
Me: WHAT???
Maurice: Yea, we just came from the Doctor’s office and you’re going to be an Auntie next year.
Me: Oh my gosh *immediately starts blubbering* I’m so happy. I’m so happy for you. WOW!

These were my first truly happy tears.

When he told me they heard the heartbeat folks, the rush of love I felt for that little heartbeat is unlike any love I’ve felt before. I cannot wait to meet my little nephew (*fingers crossed* this will be confirmed next week and
I’ll say this here, my brother has been calling the bump “Cupcake” and I take umbrage on behalf of my unborn nephew.)

When I think about him even now…I get a lump in my throat for the blessing of his presence. He is truly a gift and one I will cherish. I have three godsons, I love them all. But this love I feel…oh my word! Makes me think about my own future son and I understand a little bit now the commitment of unconditional love. It just is. Imagine the rainstorm when I finally meet him…

When my nephew reads this someday, I want him to know that even before I knew him…I loved him.

It was the absolute best way to end 2012 and the perfect start to 2013.

Aunties to be!!!

Aunties to be!!!