VernetteOutLoud

Day 8 – The gift of life

Today’s affirmation:

Today I give with creativity.

I chose today’s affirmation, because I wanted to think outside the box with regard to what to give.

Be careful what you ask for.

I got a bbm message from a friend of a friend, asking for a blood donation for another friend. I didn’t know the guy, but I knew the friend and I decided that today’s gift would be the donation of blood.

Now I absolutely hate the actual process of being stuck with the needle. I hate needles! It’s an exercise in strength every time I give blood. 10 years in, I still have to look away, when the needle goes in. I think about happy things, practice some Yoga breathing; anything to get my mind off of the needle going into my arm.

Like I said I’ve been a donor for a decade, and yes I have blood in the “bank” and could just simply make a withdrawal. But, I prefer to keep what’s inside already for my immediate family and close friends. If someone I don’t know needs blood, as long as I can give it, I prefer to make the actual donation.

So today, I went up to the Blood Bank, located on Charlotte Street which is about four blocks away from my office. The walk, got my blood pumping, by the time I was finished with the preliminary assessments, I was more than ready to go.

And then it was time. Look away Vernette. Deep breath in. Hold for 3 counts, exhale for 3 counts. Deep breath in…yup the needle is in. Hold for a count of 3, Exhale for 3. Remember to squeeze the squishy ball, every 10 secs or so.

My inner dialogue was interrupted by a nurse sitting next to me. We got to talking; I think she struck up a convo initially to get my mind off of what was happening. Yes people, I don’t keep it a secret that the whole thing is an ordeal for me. So, I began sharing with her my 29-gift journey. Explaining to her how it all started and how my journey led me to the Blood Bank today. She asked, eventually for my blog address, and I do hope if she remembers to look for it, that she reads this and is inspired to do her own 29-gifts.

The gift of life…sounds so dramatic, but blood really is our life source. And I am humbled that on the day I asked the Universe for some creative “help” in giving, that what came my way, was giving of self in the most personal yet creative way possible.

Day 7 – The gift of "Me time"

Today’s affirmation:

Today I give from the heart.

It’s been an emotional few days. Not only are my hormones out of whack naturally, but there have been some upheavals at the office as well. I can’t seem to focus on what’s going on and I keep getting up late for work. I’m really beginning to feel run down. There is a part of me that even doubts this 29-gift journey will make a difference. Seven days in and the fact that I’m still turning my eyes outward is frustrating me.

I know that the exhaustion I feel is more than physical. It’s emotional. It’s mental too because my brain has been going 5 miles a minute. In my heart of hearts, I know I’d much rather be doing something else and that thought drags me down so much. What’s the point if we’re simply getting by and not living the life of our heart right? Yes, I have a plan and I’m working that plan, but this “in-between” time can be draining.

I’ve been faithful to gym, eating better and drinking more water. I’ve stuck to the goals I set for myself daily. But I’ve fallen short on my commitment to get more sleep. I’ve always had trouble sleeping and I try to get at least 5 hrs a night. But lately I need more that.

So today’s gift, is some much needed Vernette time. I need to give some “luv-ups” to myself. I skipped the gym, got home early for once, lit some candles and had a nice warm bath. I didn’t turn on the TV and quickly posted the last two “Days”. I made sure to turn the laptop off immediately. Then I made a nice, big, mug of hot chocolate and went to bed.

I’m gonna read Tying Rocks to Clouds by William Elliot until I fall asleep.

How do you spend your “me time”?

Day 6 – The gift of Letting Go

Illustration: Jennifer Troyer, www.oprah.com

Today’s affirmation

Today I simply give.

Today we said goodbye to the leader of our organization. He has been here for the last 10 years and he is the only leader I’ve had the privilege to know (they change every 5 years or so, unless they are given a second appointment). I consider myself blessed. I was unprepared for the emotion I felt at the farewell function organized for him. His remarks to close the program took me back to when I first joined the organization.

Here is a man who was truly passionate about what he did. He has always described our organization in superlative terms. He would boast that he had the privilege to have had three terms of office over the course of forty-two years. He would say, he kept coming back because it was a noble institution. It was through his stewardship, the credibility of our organization was restored. He was also pro-family, insisting that we operate not as co-workers, but as a family. He believed in passion. Passion for excellence at work and passion for life. It was his passion for our organization, that sparked hope in many of my colleagues, certainly for me. He saw something great in us as a whole and so I could see something great in me as well.

This is a time of great uncertainty, there will be a lot of changes with the new appointment. We are going to have to let go of what was, to move forward with the new. It is a bit exhilarating and unnerving too but necessary for growth.

This is true for everything in this life. Every day we are alive is an exercise in letting go. When we open our eyes, we let go of sleep and the dream world. We welcome the day. We leave our homes for our day-to-day lives. We eventually leave it all behind at the end of the day and return to our homes. When we lay down to sleep, we let go of the day, with the hope of a new one to come. Always an ebb and flow. A give and take. We may try to hold on to a moment, make it last for as long as it can…but eventually we have to let go of time, in order to live. We have to let go, to grow.

Today I let go of what was, with hope for what is yet to come.

Day 5 – The gift of friendship

This was taken on my much anticipated trip to Bequia last year. Here, I’m having a mango in the market. The guy behind, is a Trinidadian, living and selling his produce there.

Today’s affirmation:

Today I give with love.

Yesterday, I got 3 Julie mangoes from my friend Lucy. After coconuts, it doesn’t get more Caribbean than mangoes and I just love ‘em.

When we were kids, my brother, sister and I would sit with a bucket full and eat to our heart’s content. In Trinidad we have quite a variety but my absolute favourites are Julie, Doudouce, Starch and Long Mango. And for each one I have a favourite way of eating it.

To eat a Julie Mango requires some preparation. I like it ripe but not over ripe, it must be firm to the touch and from the smell of the skin alone, you know it’s gonna be that custardy-mango-y goodness. Then, I slice both faces off and place on a plate with a spoon. For the seed, I peel the skin around it and that joins the others on the plate. Then I find a nice comfy chair, sit and savour each spoonful of mango. The seed I devour and sometimes suck until you can no longer tell if it was ever yellow.

Doudouce, is a small, sweet mango; so small, the entire fruit can fit in your mouth. The skin on a doudouce could range from a dusky rose, to a reddish orange to a bright yellow. All of them, small and sweet, this is one good thing that comes in a small package. For a doudouce, I employ the squeeze and suck method. You gently squeeze the skin of the mango, until the pulp is soft to the touch. Then you bite a small hole in the skin, and suck out all the sweetness. Ambrosia of the fruit world, I tell you.

Starch mango was my mother’s favourite. She would choose the most unblemished ones, peel and savour. Me, I prefer to bite the skin off, suck off all the pulp on the skin and then devour the rest of the mango. Starch mango is a really sweet treat.

Long mango, unfortunately is like the mongrel of the mango world. But it is abundant and sweet. As children, we would raid my aunt’s tree and spend most of day eating our loot, mango juice running down our arms and covering our faces. Oh the glory days of youth.

I decided yesterday, that today’s gift was going to be one of the Julie mangoes. I just had to find the person to give it to. Even, though I grew up with mangoes as a part of my life, everyone I knew had a mango tree in their backyard, in my research I learnt that mangoes were first grown in India over 5000 years ago. And that it is also considered a symbol of Love there. A basket of mangoes is considered a gesture of friendship in India.

It is so poignant to me that I chose ‘giving with love’ as today’s affirmation. I gave my gift of love and friendship, a mango, to my friend Lena. She has been such a pillar of strength for me at times in my life when I really needed her. Though small, it was given with big intentions and blessings.

Day 4 – The gift of water

Today’s affirmation:

Today I give with peace and abundance.

I woke up properly sunburnt, still a little punchy from all the sun and sea yesterday and very dehydrated. The skin on my nose is taut and I’m not looking forward to when it starts to strip. I spent most of my morning, thinking about the day’s events, writing about it…tearing up a bit about it too. Yes I’m a punk. I did however, remember to make my affirmation right after my morning prayers.

My morning spent writing and thinking was pretty fruitful despite forgetting to eat. By the time lunchtime rolled around my tummy was protesting something fierce. My sister invited Lucy and I to lunch today…so I was gonna get another curry fix for the weekend. Yes, I’ve already prepared my mind to work extra hard in the gym this week.

Trudy came to get me after 12, we had to drop off the pots from yesterday, go to the Salvation Army and drop off some clothes and shoes, then go pick up Lucy. I could tell she wasnt feeling well, the moment I sat in the car. I thought to myself, what’s the gift here? Offer to drive? No. Then what?

As we were passing a grocery for our first errand, I thought…hmmm it’s hot out, we are both dehydrated…why not get some coconut water? Now, I don’t have money to spend on coconut water, which is very expensive for an island with miles and miles of coconut trees growing freely. But I blessed the money I was about to spend and got two bottles.

Our Salvation Army errand was interesting as well. It was the last day and farewell for this Jamaican guy who is moving on to St Kitts tomorrow to go to the Salvation Army there to continue his work. He stopped his preparations to accommodate Trudy and I. He was such a warm guy.

When we picked up Lucy, she had 3 lovely Julie Mangoes each for Trudy and I.

I already know what tomorrow’s gift will be.